Never Lose Hope

2008 was an important year for my late husband Mike and me. That is the year we caucused for Obama and were alternates at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. It was the year we went to Paris. The year we hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in our home. And it was the year right before the worst year of our lives, 2009, when cancer came ravaging back and took no mercy on Mike’s being, no matter how much hope we had that it was just another bump along the cancer road.

I think about hope a lot. I wrote about it recently for Soulful Transitions. I believe in hope, although I have found myself after Mike died facing numerous times of wanting to give up. The hope that was instilled in me came from believing in a President who has class, cared about all people, held himself with dignity and yet had silly charm. He could play a game of pick up basketball, could admit he smoked a cigarette or two, and graciously took questions from the media even when they made him uncomfortable. His family showed hope to millions, that people could see themselves reflected in the color of their skin and in the values they hold as a family.

I also was instilled with hope when seeing my husband fight with all the will he had to live. He engaged in procedures that would make the rest of us squirm. I told him one day I probably wouldn’t be as brave as he was doing half the procedures and taking half the medications he was doing and taking. He said, “yes you would. You would want to live. You would do it for me, if nothing else.” Having him say that to me made me take pause and appreciate the possibilities hope can provide.

To those of you out there who continue to say that those of us against the new Administration are a bunch of cry babies, I would like to disagree. Those of us who have hope for the kind of better world we have hope in...civil and human rights of all people, peace rather than war, dialogue rather than demagogue, communities that respect all people no matter our differences, the right for women to be in charge of their own health care, etc....we didn’t come to these desires because we are babies and like to whine. We came to them because we have seen discrimination; have had our own female health experiences; have fought against an unyielding health care system; have seen our friends and neighbors, and have experienced ourselves, misogyny, hate incidents and discrimination. Yet we wake up every day. And we get to what needs to be getting done. That isn’t the work of whiners....it is the work of people with strength, character, good intentions, love and...yes...hope.

Today I ushered in the Trump Administration with my friend Rosa by spending it with around 20 women who donated their time, money, toiletries, food, water, socks, chapsticks, kleenex etc. to put together over 200 bags to give to the homeless on the streets, to the Comitis Center shelter and to Gateway Women’s Shelter. We methodically stuffed baggies, broke down boxes, filled up cars and drove these donations to their respected places. I wouldn’t have had expected to be a part of this peaceful transfer of power in any other way except in a beautiful and accepting community. Tomorrow I will march in the Women’s March on Denver, not because I am whining but because I have hope. I have hope that despite the ideological differences our country can be united. I have hope that people can see the intrinsic value in each face they come across. I have hope that I can sit down with someone who doesn’t agree with me and have a civil conversation to discover what we can agree upon. I have hope that each of us become positive examples of civility, care and community to a President who chooses to dismiss people who disagree with him. So, no, my friends. I am not whining. I am actually pretty clear, confident, and ready to be who I am in this world to make positive, accessible and inspiring change-not restrictive, inaccessible and defense driven change. Who do you choose to be during this time?

New Year, 2017!

It is hard to believe the holidays are behind us and we are inching forward in a New Year. I post a lot on Facebook but haven't posted recently to this blog. So, some photo updates!

The National Western Stock Show had a free day on Tuesday. I got there at opening and it was not crowded at all. Parking was a breeze, and I got to meander and watch corralling events and just take it all in. The Coors Western Art Exhibit was really great, too. It was a nice day just to relax and enjoy!

I continue to take photos of my girl…sleeping, mostly! But occasionally going out and about. Today we had the monthly greyhound walk. She loves that event and then she just passes out the rest of the day!

Merry Christmas!

Rene and I want to wish all our two and four legged friends and family a Merry Christmas! May your tail wag heartily today; may you feel the joy of the season right down to the tips of your toes; may you spend meaningful time with loved ones.

Holiday Decorating

The Friday after Thanksgiving I always decorate the house. I was pleased with myself to find my "Christmas Box" well organized from last year! Note to self: Put things away organized this year…

Dad made me a gingerbread house. He said I can eat it with my coffee, but it is too cute to munch on! Mom bought me the little vintage deer at the Horseshoe Market. And these trees I had in the Christmas Box. Makes for a sweet little display!

Some baubles I found. I have a whole slew of ornaments and a tiny tree. 

So, a bowl is the next best way to display them!

My tiny tree

I picked up this little village at the dollar store last year. It sits in the entryway with a string of lights, and makes for a warm glowing welcome when I get home.

My dear friend and neighbor, Mary, and I live in the "corner" of the 1st floor of our condo. We have begun decorating "our corner". Here is our little tree!

And, my favorite decoration of all…I keep her up all year long!

Here's to the start of a festive, loving, warm, and bright holiday season!

Happy Thanksgiving 2016!

This Thanksgiving I have been engaging in a "30 Day Gratitude Challenge" and it has been a great reminder of all the good things in my life. Every day I wake up and think about "what one thing will I be grateful for today?" and then, after identifying it, I honor it by doing something special around that thing.

Today I am grateful for gratitude! As a way of thinking and living, gratitude can take us out of worry and fear for the future, regrets from the past, and let us just be in the moment. Today, I plan to do just that…"be in the moment!" Enjoy the cooking, cleaning, eating and being with family and friends moment by moment.

For you, I wish you a grateful Thanksgiving, too!

Snow Shine

Yesterday into today was our very first snow! This year, our fall ran exceptionally long. It was beautiful, but got very dry. This morning the sun was out, and I love "Snow Shine" days like this! Bundled up together, Rene and I ventured out to the Great Lawn Park. I have been working through a 30 Day of Gratitude Challenge this month; my gratitude today was the energy I had when I woke up to tackle a number of things with a smile! I have some art projects to finish up for tomorrow's craft fair, and my friend's greyhound's birthday is today so we are having them over for dinner! Rene and I snuck in a walk, and now I am off to the store.

Making it through times of uncertainty and change

I haven't posted on this blog in so long! I have been tied up with Soulful Transitions, keeping up with the blog there, Facebook updates, etc. Life seems to have taken a rhythm where there isn't much to write about…I make stuff, sell stuff at craft shows, repeat, and nothing really of note comes up to write about. That is…until just this past week. The future of my business is very much on my mind lately. Well, even just the future in general. In light of a historical election and an uncertain future I have noticed a slight haziness to reality. I heard someone say the other day "we are all getting over Trump Flu." I feel like I did after 9/11. I remember walking in Wash Park and everything seemed to be hazed over by a reddish, dirt like haze. Even the other day I felt kind of sick, lethargic, I just wanted to sleep all day if I could. None of my flu-like symptoms has anything really to do with the "right" winning the election because I don't think of Donald Trump as a conservative politician. I told myself early on that if Ted Cruz or Jeb Bush were the next president I would muck through those four years until another ground breaking or ceiling crashing liberal came to the forefront. My shock and dismay isn't around conservatism, per se…it is around the man elected as president and the intentions of many of the people whose vote put him there.

I am not one to protest an election; I believe in democracy and that, contrary to our president-elect's pre-election rhetoric, that the American election system is not rigged (although, now I may be questioning that after all). But I do protest hate, ignorance, oppression, white supremacy, nationalism to the extent of discrimination and all the other nasty parts of the human race that seemed to rear its ugliness during this election and beyond. I think of my friends' kids. All the girls whose mommas are raising them to be strong women of character. I think of those girls who now have a president to look up to that was caught talking about grabbing a woman's private parts, who has been married 3(?) times, and has been cited as stating ugly comments about women's looks. I think of my friend's boys, who have this as their role model…a man on television mocking a disabled reporter, talking of Mexicans as rapists, and objectifying women. A man whose incendiary comments have led to hate crimes against Muslims and young children of Mexican descent to cry in my teacher friends' arms for fear they will be sent back to places that are not home to these children as America is home to them.

Don't even get me started on the health care system. While the Affordable Care Act made health care available and affordable to millions of people, it will most likely be changed so much that health care, once again, won't be available or affordable. For myself, paying out of pocket for my health care, I am scared that I won't be able to afford whatever comes down the pike. That my dream of being a small business owner will become stifled under this overwhelming cost and I will have to put that dream aside or choose to go without, which is a scary notion unto itself.

I think, though, what really has impacted me the most is that I was a part of such a ground breaking presidency back in 2008. I believed so much in Obama and to elect the first African-American president during my lifetime was historical! Mike and I caucused for Obama and we went to the DNC here in Denver as alternates. We were a part of history. I think about how disappointed Mike would be to see the two steps forward and four steps back we are taking with a president-elect whose constituents in many parts of the country live so fearfully that they espouse hate rather than unity.

On the bright side, my activist self has become reignited. Lucky for me, I am surrounded by friends who I can get fired up with. Social work friends, where our ethical fabric is to stand up for the marginalized; teaching friends who are with children every day impacted by decisions adults make; spiritual friends who believe in the divinity of all people (yes, including the haters). With the help of my friends I am hoping to integrate these parts of myself-my belief in social justice, my desire for systems that provide rather than restrict, and my core belief that we are all divine creatures of God. This is the time to challenge myself to bring all these parts of me together. I am not sure how I will do that just yet; do I become more activist? Do I attend my Mile Hi Church services more? Do I volunteer with immigrant families? I do not know…but I am sure it will show itself as time unfolds.

And my passion for my business…for Soulful Transitions…flew through the roof this past week. The positive messaging, the emphasis on self-care, gratitude and being in the moment is more important now than ever before. At the craft show on Saturday, many people stopped by and commented on how the brightness of my table and the positive messaging was just what they needed during this time of uncertainty. I see Soulful Transitions as a change making engine as well, staying the course with "high energy vibrations" of love, positivity and light rather than "low energy vibrations" of fear, despondency and depression. If every day I wake up walking in the light rather than the dark I know I can be a change maker during this time, however that looks.