Never Lose Hope

2008 was an important year for my late husband Mike and me. That is the year we caucused for Obama and were alternates at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. It was the year we went to Paris. The year we hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in our home. And it was the year right before the worst year of our lives, 2009, when cancer came ravaging back and took no mercy on Mike’s being, no matter how much hope we had that it was just another bump along the cancer road.

I think about hope a lot. I wrote about it recently for Soulful Transitions. I believe in hope, although I have found myself after Mike died facing numerous times of wanting to give up. The hope that was instilled in me came from believing in a President who has class, cared about all people, held himself with dignity and yet had silly charm. He could play a game of pick up basketball, could admit he smoked a cigarette or two, and graciously took questions from the media even when they made him uncomfortable. His family showed hope to millions, that people could see themselves reflected in the color of their skin and in the values they hold as a family.

I also was instilled with hope when seeing my husband fight with all the will he had to live. He engaged in procedures that would make the rest of us squirm. I told him one day I probably wouldn’t be as brave as he was doing half the procedures and taking half the medications he was doing and taking. He said, “yes you would. You would want to live. You would do it for me, if nothing else.” Having him say that to me made me take pause and appreciate the possibilities hope can provide.

To those of you out there who continue to say that those of us against the new Administration are a bunch of cry babies, I would like to disagree. Those of us who have hope for the kind of better world we have hope in...civil and human rights of all people, peace rather than war, dialogue rather than demagogue, communities that respect all people no matter our differences, the right for women to be in charge of their own health care, etc....we didn’t come to these desires because we are babies and like to whine. We came to them because we have seen discrimination; have had our own female health experiences; have fought against an unyielding health care system; have seen our friends and neighbors, and have experienced ourselves, misogyny, hate incidents and discrimination. Yet we wake up every day. And we get to what needs to be getting done. That isn’t the work of whiners....it is the work of people with strength, character, good intentions, love and...yes...hope.

Today I ushered in the Trump Administration with my friend Rosa by spending it with around 20 women who donated their time, money, toiletries, food, water, socks, chapsticks, kleenex etc. to put together over 200 bags to give to the homeless on the streets, to the Comitis Center shelter and to Gateway Women’s Shelter. We methodically stuffed baggies, broke down boxes, filled up cars and drove these donations to their respected places. I wouldn’t have had expected to be a part of this peaceful transfer of power in any other way except in a beautiful and accepting community. Tomorrow I will march in the Women’s March on Denver, not because I am whining but because I have hope. I have hope that despite the ideological differences our country can be united. I have hope that people can see the intrinsic value in each face they come across. I have hope that I can sit down with someone who doesn’t agree with me and have a civil conversation to discover what we can agree upon. I have hope that each of us become positive examples of civility, care and community to a President who chooses to dismiss people who disagree with him. So, no, my friends. I am not whining. I am actually pretty clear, confident, and ready to be who I am in this world to make positive, accessible and inspiring change-not restrictive, inaccessible and defense driven change. Who do you choose to be during this time?