Thanks, Robert...From the Magic Kingdom

We are on the home stretch before our trip to Disneyland. Both of us are filled with excitement and anticipation. The plane leaves at 7:55pm and two hours later we will be at the Magic Kingdom. Sometimes I feel a bit sheepish about how excited I get about going to Disneyland. We could be off to an exotic island or in Europe. We could be spending the weekend in New York City, or enjoying spring in Santa Fe. But for both Mike and I, Disneyland is just a ton of fun. We love the rides, Main Street USA, seeing the characters, and not having to think too much about an itinerary. Jason, Jess and Max will be there which will add another dimension. So, Disney here we come.

I want to acknowledge Robert in all this. He is the world's best uncle. He is always willing to stay at our house while we are gone on a trip to be with the boys. It saves us $40 a day for boarding, and it saves Stan's nerves. He can't stand to be away from Chester as he would in a kennel. So, Robert, thank you so much for allowing our trip to Disneyland (and all other trips) to be a little less expensive and more worry free!

Dream Job

I was driving home last night and heard a commentary on NPR about pursuing your dream job. The monologue was by a software director at a health-care company who quit his day job to pursue writing teenage fiction novels. One novel had already been published by Random House, and he just recently published another one. The commentary got me thinking. What is my dream job? The job I would quit the stability and security of a University recruitment position for? A few ideas came to mind. I would LOVE to own a little boutique on either Old South Pearl, Gaylord, 32nd avenue, or one of these chic neighborhoods. The boutique would be a lot like the Denver Botanic Gardens gift store: lovely soaps, lotions, books, garden decorations, original artistic pieces. I would also love to own a coffee shop near a University...the kind where great ideas are housed, original artwork on the walls, students studying till the wee hours. It looks as though my dream job allows me to work for myself, be as creative as I want, and really be dedicated to the success of the business. Who knows? This guy was 40 when he pursued his dream, maybe in 10 years I will have those such guts.

Long Weekend Hangover

I feel like I have fallen into a vortex. I am at my desk at work, and it feels like yesterday was just Friday. It feels like my co-workers and I were just sitting here, wondering if we would be let out from work early to kick off the Memorial Day weekend. I know that yesterday was not Friday, that a 3 day weekend just passed and I did a ton of stuff. I cleaned, watched Stan blow up like a balloon after getting into his dog food, tended the sick Stan, did house projects, went to a birthday party, had the in-laws to dinner, walked the dogs, went to a BBQ at my parents' house, went on a hike, saw the 3rd Pirates movie...so why do I feel like all that time went by too quickly? It is probably my 3 day weekend hangover. That and my excitement about our upcoming trip to Disneyland!

Re: Hiking. Mike, Chester, Stan and I went on our first hike of the season Monday. We went to Golden Gate State Park and hiked the Horseshoe Trail. It was about 3.6 miles, and it looped around a beautiful meadow, through aspen trees and past a nice camping spot. This hike gave me the recharge that I needed. I love hiking. Just me and my guys, in the early morning, smelling the mountain air and surrounded by trees, rocks, flowers, the sky, and mountains. I needed to get out of the city, away from people for a little while, and remember the greater things in life. Being in nature is my way of reflecting on what is important to me and gives me new balance, because if I am gone from nature too long my balance starts to get out of whack. So, hopefully the summer will bring lots of hikes thus bring lots of balance!

Who would I be without MP?

Everyone should have that friend who they can't live without. That friend who knows you so well that conversations are understood in unspoken spaces. I got to spend the evening last night with such a friend. We sat in her lovely home, on her comfy couch, cradling glasses of wine, and talking. What I love about this friend and our friendship is that we covered every topic imaginable. We laughed, had a tear or two, and caught up on life. I left her house feeling refreshed, invigorated, but had this fleeting thought of, "who would I be without her in my life?" She is a role model to me. She never waivers on her beliefs. She has strong ethics and morals. She is an amazing mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend. She is passionate, creative, loving; thoughtful and thought provoking... So, my friend, this one is for you. Thank you for enriching my life and shaping who I am. You are a treasure.

Wisdom (from me??)

I was asked recently to be the confirmation sponsor of my friend's 14 year old daughter. She is an 8th grader at MPB, and will be going on to high school in the fall. I hadn't talked to my friend Shelley for over a year, life and cancer got the best of me and I didn't keep up with the friendship. She emailed me recently and just called me a few weeks ago. It was so good to connect with her again. We talked as if the time hadn't gone by at all. I just love friendships like that-nothing to prove, nothing to apologize for...just good old fashioned love and care for each other.

Jane got on the phone and asked me to be her sponsor for confirmation. I was speechless. I remember choosing my sponsor for confirmation. It was a thoughtful, very deliberate choice. I chose the mother of a friend whom I admired, and she was a dedicated and caring sponsor. To know that Jane went through that very same deliberation and ended up choosing me overwhelmed me. I said yes right away, aware of the commitment but also aware of my special relationship with Jane. Shelley and I formed a friendship over 10 years ago, when we both worked at ABC Books. We partied together, had quiet dinners together, I helped her move, she helped entertain me while Mike was in Antarctica. I have known Jane since she was 3 years old, when I used to read to her when she would come visit the bookstore. Jane has always been that thoughtful "old soul" type. I never talked down to her as a child, I always made sure to pay her attention when we were all together. So, I think that over the years Jane and I have a bond that I believe will always be there.

Last night was a confirmation meeting. I planned on meeting Jane there. A flood of middle schoolers came rolling in, and in the rush I saw Jane. She had a big smile for me and a hug, and so genuinely thanked me for coming. The theme of the night was "Wisdom." What words of wisdom did I have for Jane? If you have never been intimidated, this will do it to you! I thought, "Me? Give words of wisdom to Jane?" After much deliberation, I told her to live with integrity and intention; and even if her views are unpopular to stand by her convictions. I told her to make sure her decisions are in alignment who she is at her core. I hope my words of wisdom will be something she will think about in times of hard decisions; when she is becoming a young woman and developing the person she will be in this world. She is already a shining light, and I hope her light shines bright for years to come.

The Core Question

When I was in college I had a very idealistic view of things. I was a Political Science major, ready to change the world. I remember that I believed the core nature of humankind was community oriented, a social rather than independent or individualistic nature. I fought with anyone who disagreed. I wanted Anarchy because I believed that people were so community oriented that they would create a world of loving kindness, and leave the world of war, poverty, hatred, and crime behind.

As I get older, my philosophy has started to change. Is fundamental human nature really community based, or is it the Hobbesian image that life is "nasty, brutish, and short?" From what I see and from who I meet on a day to day basis, people tend to be defensive, finger pointers, and in it for themselves. It is a strange evolution from early 20's, where you really haven't seen much of the "real world" except for what is on MTV, to early 30's, where you have seen enough of the "real world" to know that you wish it were as cut and dry as the MTV version. I guess all I can do is make my little circle of friends and family as Utopian as possible, and hope that I don't get more cynical as I age.

Movie, Wine...What Else Could I Ask For?...Well, Hubby Time Of Course!

I love my husband. He is my best friend and I look forward to leaving work so I can spend time with him. No, I am not just writing that because I know he reads this. I write it because it is true. I like nothing better than to come home after work, go for a walk with the boys, settle down to a night of TV and a yummy dinner. Or the weekend, where we run errands, do house chores, see movies, go to dinner. I just love it, and am so lucky to have such a marriage.

I do have one confession. The nights he says, "I have to work, do you mind if I abandon you?" are delicious. No, not because I want to see him toil after an already grueling day. They are delicious because I can do something just for me. Perhaps I can read, maybe call a few friends, take a bath, or putter around the house. Whatever it is, the "me" time gives me the rejuvenation I need to be able to spend time with him. Last night was exquisite. I drank some chilled white wine, pumiced and lotioned my feet, and watched Notes on a Scandal, a captivating movie that I knew Mike may not like as much as I did. It was a lovely evening of me, Cate Blanchett, Judi Dench, and Beringer.

Thank you, my sweet. Thank you for letting me have this time-I get refreshed by this time. But, lo and behold, am I ever looking forward to tonight's American Idol, will it be Blake or Jordin? I look forward to tonight because I get to snuggle up with you.

Lockdown...Now Locked Up

I drove into work this morning to find that Lowell Blvd. was closed, with police cars blocking streets and flares directing traffic. I thought perhaps someone important was coming to visit...then I saw other police cars at the various neighborhood schools. I thought then about a security problem, perhaps a bomb threat or something. I parked my car a block away, figuring that if the situation was too risky, the police officer will keep me from entering. When I asked if I could go in, he said yes. Then, the Father Woody van came by and insisted they drive me to my building. It was in the Father Woody van that I heard there was some sort of armed robber on the loose in the neighborhood. They dropped me off at the door and I reluctantly came inside.

When I came in, the front desk person was surprised I was let in. She told me the campus was officially on lock down. None of my co-workers, nor my boss, were in the office. I stayed in my office with the door locked, lights off and my trusty grapefruit knife, just in case. The campus came off lock down about 45 minutes later and my co-workers came trailing in. My boss came in, joked about the whole situation, and expected us to resume back to work. Thus, we went from Lock down to Locked Up.

I had a few revelations from this experience. The first is that my supervisor really doesn't care much about us. She was on campus, shut in another building, well before 8am and didn't call any of my co-workers to touch base. When she came in, she joked about the situation and expected us all to get back to work immediately. The second thought is that what happened at Virginia Tech is now much more incomprehensible to me. There was a murder on campus and they let classes resume...and then so many more people were killed because of this. In this situation today I felt angry that they let me in the building and this was a robbery in the neighborhood. The magnitude is so different but it opened my eyes to the experiences that other people have.

Ahhh....back to work I must go. This wasn't the typical Monday morning!

The Castle Awaits

In two weeks, Mike and I will be in Disneyland. Yes, you read it. Disneyland. I know, I know....we went last year. I cannot describe what an ideal vacation this is though! If you haven't been in a while, I highly suggest it. Our friends are taking their almost 4 year old, so we thought we would tag along. They can go on a few big kid rides, and we can can say "Adios!" when Max starts getting cranky.

Other reasons why this is the best vacation:

1. It is all planned for us. We don't have to make any plans at all, just get up, get dressed and get to the park.

2. We will be with friends. Adults don't get the chance to be kids together very often!

3. I don't have to worry about what I wear. I can throw on my Tinkerbell shirt and Mike his Mickey shirt and we are set.

4. Winnie the Pooh!

It's Alarming how Charming I Feel...

Something in the air for the past month or so has put me floating on cloud 9. Perhaps it is Mike's clean PET scan; perhaps it is summer. Whatever it is, things are really good. I seem to find something that makes me happy daily. Mike got kudos at work from some of the upper tier folks about a job well done. He deserves this, and this made me happy. I get to plant my containers this weekend and this makes me very happy. We are seeing Shrek the 3rd Sunday and that makes me incredibly happy. Even walking in the morning makes me happy-being with the boys, the weather is cool, the neighborhood is quiet, and I top off a good walk with one more hot cup of coffee. I need to soak this up. All of it.

The Secret Really is a Secret

My team at work recently read The Secret and watched the movie. The premise of The Secret is that what you give out to the universe comes back to you. Of course, management had us do this because they don't know how to lead so they expect us to lead ourselves. Regardless, yes, I do believe that, in general, if you have positive energy positive things occur; negative energy may lead to negative things occurring. Now, I agree with this in general. There are many places I don't agree with this: Mike didn't put energy out there to get cancer; an acquaintance's 6 year old daughter didn't put energy out there to get a brain tumor. But, you know, if you are nice to people then generally they are nice back. If you are mean to people, well, they may be mean to you. See. Generally speaking, this is the case.

Where I don't get The Secret is in my day to day activities. I am generally a good person. I think I put out positive vibes. So, why is it on my late day my boss is actually here until 6pm so I can't skip out unnoticed to head to an early baseball game? Why does this happen to me, when the person in another cube who puts out negative energy gets her way all the time? I don't understand. Sigh. The Secret will, in all its glory, be just that to me.

My Guys

Last night, I got super irritated with Stanley and Chester (Stan especially). I was making dinner and they rudely forced themselves in between me and the counter. They were both licking the air, hoping to catch miscellaneous pieces of food that may fall from the heavens. I finally pushed them out of the kitchen. Then, as we sat down to eat (in front of the TV) Stan kept hovering over the food, thinking that one of these steaming plates of steak were his. I got mad again, telling him to lay down. Mike came to Stan's defense. I felt guilty (still do). So, guys, this one's for you. You know that I love you three with all my heart. You are my guys.

Celebrating Mom

Sunday was Mother's Day. I love the celebration-not only to celebrate my fabulous mom-but because Mother's Day is almost always on a beautiful day. Brunch, to me, is the perfect way to appreciate mom, so everyone came over-we had scrambled eggs with herbs, potatos au gratin, fresh fruit, peppered bacon and Duffeyrolls. The morning was lovely, there were flowers on the table, and everyone stuffed themselves and then sat back to soak up some sun. Cheers to you, mom, for all you do and have done for our family, and my family-Mike, Chester and Stanley do appreciate you too!

Is it so hard?

The scene: A Friday afternoon. An empty parking lot. A 70 degree afternoon. Others leaving at 3:00.

Is it so hard to let your people out, oh say, even 30 minutes early on a day like this?

7th Inning Stretch

In my last post I listed my favorite summer activities. Last night, Mike reminded me that I left one out...Baseball. How did I miss this staple of summer? It is such a staple that I need to write a whole posting about it.

Mike and I have the Guys Night Out package, where we get two tickets to every Tuesday night home game, free beer coupons, and a T-shirt for around $100. What I realized about the Guys Night Out package is that it is mainly a Couples Night Out package...there are few groups of testosterone in the Guys Night Out section. Thus, we get a summer of baseball at a more than reasonable cost. When baseball season begins, the night games start around 6pm...the evenings can be a bit chilly and we find ourselves leaving early because we get too cold. As the summer goes on, the nights get longer and the weather is warmer and we can sit there until the bitter end (unfortunately, many Rockies games end bitterly).

We begin our baseball evenings with a slice of New York Style pizza from Two Fisted Marios on Blake street. This is the best pizza in Denver, a funky little joint run by interesting looking people, with The Simpsons playing on TV and Slayer being blared from the speakers. We then go to the game and buy our peanuts and water from a vendor outside of Coors Field for a total cost of $3. I get my free beer and we settle in for a relaxing summer evening.

My favorite part of the night is the 7th Inning Stretch. Mike and I put our arms on each other's shoulders and sway while singing,"Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd...buy me some peanuts and cracker jack...I don't care if I never get back...and its root, root, root for the Rockies, for if they don't win it's a shame...for its 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out at the old ballgame."

Ahhhhh. Now that I have the hum of that tune in my head I am ready for this Tuesday's game.

On the Verge

It is official. I love summer and the months leading up to it. May especially is a time where I get a sneak peek of summer's goodness. Mike and I have barbequed a few times already; the lawn is a rich, green carpet before turning drier as the months get hotter; my perennials have come back, with small buds already forming; and I get to change into lighter pj's for the warmer nights.

I think what I love best about summer is it seems to be the time when Mike's cancer is not around. Last summer he was "in remission" and this summer I hope he continues to have clean PET scans. Both of us are in better spirits, just plain happier, when summer comes and we don't have to go to Chemo appointments every few weeks. There is a spring in our steps, cheerfulness in our laughs, and we get to spend time doing what we love while feeling good: Go to Chatfield with the dogs, eat outside at my parent's house, go to the mountains and hike, see the newest Harry Potter movie and read the newest Harry Potter book, walk to Gaylord Street for Ice Cream, and visit the Pearl Street farmer's market.

So, summer, I am welcoming you with open arms.

20 Questions (Well, 12 Actually)

You have ten bucks at a gas station to buy some snacks, what do you get?
That is easy! A Frappucino ($1.79), bag of potato chips ($3.00), chocolate covered pretzels ($3.00) and can I also get some windshield washer fluid?

If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you be?
I have always felt the sea horse to be the most beautiful sea creature. I hear they are a tad vicious too. Never hurts.

What do you order when you're at IHOP?
I don’t go to IHOP…At Racines? I get the Greek Scramble and freshly squeezed OJ. Can I go now please?

Last book you read.
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. She is a wonderful storyteller.

Of all your friends, with whom would you want to be stuck in a well with?
LB. One of the most resourceful people I have met. I would let her worry about getting us out while I just stay stuck and worry.

Rock concert or symphony?
Can I see Yo Yo Ma at the Symphony? If so, then bring on the cello!

Soda?
Let me tell ya, there is nothing like a Coke from McDonalds. The taste of the Big Mac and French Fries carry over into the Coke. Delicious.

Flavor of Pudding?
Chocolate!

If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I would love a Vespa. And a house on a narrow street in Italy.

Most recent movie watched in theaters?
It was way too long ago. How ‘bout last Netflix flick? The Last King of Scotland. Wonderful movie.

What's your favorite kind of cake?
Anything homemade by my mom!

Who was the last person that spent $100 on you?
Myself.

Doesn't it seem excessive?

So, after watching my first and almost complete season of American Idol, it wasn't until last night's viewing that I realized people vote for their favorites more than one time. Blake's performance last night was lackluster at best, but I still am a huge fan of Blake. He has originality, style, he's adorable, and he makes his own pants. Sounds like Idol material to me. So, Mike and I decided to help keep Blake in the game. After the show, we dialed the number and gave him our vote. Then, Mike kept hitting redial. I soon learned that 70million people don't actually watch American Idol and vote; 70 people probably watch it and vote 1million times. That explains Sanjaya. So, Blake, hopefully Mike and I have helped catapult you to Idol status.

All Too Obvious

Is being a good leader all too obvious, so much so that those in leadership positions think they are exempt from actually being a good leader? Nope. Being a good leader is being accountable. Not exempt. The leader's role is key to the development and success of the team....rarely do teams thrive without having someone there to motivate!

Don't Quote Me

Whoa. A technophobe blogging? Sure, I can use email and surf the internet; I own an Ipod and a cell phone (track phone?); but have a blog? Only after unsuccessful recent attempts to keep a journal have I started thinking about a blog. I can blog in the morning, evening, on my lunch hour (okay...at work!) and get my thoughts out. Wow. Cool. This may be the therapy I otherwise can't afford!

Blogging topics: Cancer (near and dear to my heart), Leadership (just got my Master's in Organizational Leadership), Art (love it), Books (Bibliophobe), Labrador Retrievers (my children), travel (how can I do more?), and any random thoughts that come to mind (which may be plenty).

Okay! Here I am. Onto the next round.