Reverse Culture Shock

Last weekend I met a friend for coffee and breakfast at Whole Foods. I had been back from the Western Slope one week but hadn't been to Whole Foods yet. I got there a little early and wandered around, looking at every little thing. These tiny bouquets of beautiful, fresh flowers...these little bean snacks made of dried pinto beans and spices...the wall of Tom's shoes...a fresh breakfast bar filled with eggs, potatoes and sausages...all the cheeses...the snacks, the produce, the personal care items, the clothing and jewelry...the list is endless. When we sat down after indulging in that breakfast bar and an Earl Grey tea Latte for me and a pastry and coffee for her, I mentioned how overwhelming everything was to me because there was so much choice. She said, "Hmmm...I think you are experiencing reverse culture shock."

I looked up Reverse Culture Shock online and here is what StudyAbroad.com says about the matter:

"In this section you will learn how to learn with reverse culture shock you may experience upon your return to the United States. One of the biggest challenges for students who participate in study abroad programs can be the difficulty in re-adapting to the realities of the United States (otherwise known as re-entry). Many students who studied abroad in the country of their choice went through many changes, re-examining their priorities, their values, and what they think of themselves and the United States"

Okay, so I wasn't returning from living overseas or in another country. But I was returning from living in another culture. Life on the Western Slope is completely different than life in the Denver metro area. Choices of goods and services are few, traffic is almost non-existent, and things close down by 9pm. Your neighbors are not only the people who live in the houses but also their cows, sheep, dogs, horses, goats...it isn't at all like living in an urban environment no matter how "farm to table" or "locally sourced" we try to be in Urbana.

Her statement really resounded because it may have explained how I floated through my first week home, managing all the cars on the road, all the people who seem to be everywhere, and why I also found 3 movies to hunker into that first week or so where the dark of the movie theater and some solitude while watching a movie seemed comforting. Lucky for me, my reverse culture shock was nothing like the culture shock I experienced when Mike and I traveled alone through Prague. I just remember after a day of all the people, all the different foods and goods, and all the signs that didn't make sense whatsoever, a deep feeling of anxiety set in for a little while. That feeling of, "I have no idea where I am, I can't speak the language, and the walls of all these people from all over the world are closing in on me."

Lucky for me, my culture shock was reversed because I was readjusting to what is familiar, what I have known all my life, and to what I just left only a little over a year ago. What is enjoyable about reverse culture shock is that I get to rediscover all my favorite places, and go to all the new places that have cropped up since I moved. The other day, Mom and I went into Trader Joe's. I hadn't been to the ones built in the Denver area yet, and it was pure delight. Likewise, another "lucky for me" is that, while living in my country house in Montrose, I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating present-ness and doing some meditation. This has given me a sense of inner peace, that when in the past I may have been overwhelmed by chaos, I can now sit in the chaos and feel at peace in it.  Reverse culture shock, and my cultivation of inner peacefulness, is allowing me to see all the things that may seem a part of the daily grind in a new light and is allowing me to be present in the moment of experiencing whatever it is I am doing, seeing, touching, or tasting. I know that soon, after I get a job and into a routine, things will become a part of my daily grind once again, but I hope to experience that present-ness even with things I do a million times or with things that seem mundane. I found this quote recently and it perfectly encapsulates how I have been feeling about life these days:

"I still find each day too short for 

all the thoughts I want to think, 

all the walks I want to take, 

all the books I want to read, 

and all the friends I want to see".

John Burroughs

Recipe for Slow Cooker Chicken Green Chile

Over the past few years, I have begun a love affair with cooking. I had always had a love affair with eating, but my love affair with cooking has developed slowly over time. When I lived in Montrose it really developed because there weren't always things to do, so often I would come home and cook a meal I discovered either in a cookbook, from online, or one of my favorite cooking shows. When I was talking to Mom and Dad about moving in, I asked if I could make dinner every so often since I like to cook. They thought this was a fine idea. Last Sunday Mom and I went to the Pearl St farmer's market and I bought some freshly roasted green chiles. I bought onions, red peppers, green peppers and decided to make a green chile and chicken stew. It turned out so good I thought I would share it here!

Bring out your slow cooker
1tsp olive oil
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1 bag freshly roasted green chiles, mild, medium or hot-clean off as much or as little of the outside dark roasted parts you would like and slice and dice
1 large yellow onion, diced
1 large green pepper-seeded, sliced and diced
1 large red pepper-seeded, sliced and diced
3 celery stalks, chopped into small pieces
2 carrots, sliced and chopped into small pieces
3 heads of garlic, finely chopped
1 can chicken broth
1 tsp Cumin seed
Salt and Pepper
The juice from 1 can of RoTel tomatoes, your choice of spiciness
Fresh Cilantro leaves chopped-however much to your liking
2 tblsp Fresh Marjoram, finely chopped
2 tblsp Fresh Thyme, finely chopped
1 cup shredded Queso Fresco
2 cups white rice, cooked to your liking
Garlic Bread (optional)

1) Dice the chicken breasts into very small pieces
2) Heat a non stick skillet with the oil over medium high heat. Add the chicken breasts and garlic; season with salt and pepper; brown these in the oil for 3-5 minutes. Add to slow cooker.
3) In the same skillet and another tsp of olive oil and lightly brown the onion, peppers, celery, and carrots. Season with salt and pepper; Add those into the slow cooker.
4) Add the green chiles to the slow cooker
5) Add the can of chicken broth and the juice from the RoTel tomatoes. Add the cumin seed and stir everything together. Heat in the slow cooker on low for 8 hours.
6) Add cilantro, majoram, and thyme. Stir and heat for another 10 minutes.

Serve over the rice and with garlic bread. Sprinkle as much cheese on top as you wish! I also took the tomatoes from the RoTel can and mixed them with black beans, lettuce leaves, cilantro and corn for a little salad.

Enjoy!

Week One

I am finishing up my first week tucked in all nicely at my parents house. We celebrated with a dinner of White Hots from Rochester, NY-Mom's hometown-Aunt Sheila's macaroni salad, my roasted potatoes, fresh green beans from the farmer's market this morning, and watching some Sunday night football. The week went by pretty relaxed. I walked every morning, saw some friends, watched a few movies, shopped at the mall, and slept in. This week I will get more into a schedule, waking a little earlier and start looking for a job. I don't want to get too involved yet with job hunting because I may have a job at a caregiving company assisting prospective clients. They don't actually have the position available but are considering creating one, so we are in "talks." I have to say, I have little to no homesickness for the Western Slope. It feels good being back in the thick of things, and I am enjoying the opportunity to spend time with the people I love.

Did I ever leave?

I moved back to Denver this weekend. I think I recall when I moved to the Western Slope I said something like, "I am never moving back to Denver."Okay, rub it in for just a second....There. Now I get my dignity back. A friend emailed me the other day and said to me, "Don't consider moving back a failure, Mel..."and quite honestly...I don't. A year later and a lot wiser, I actually consider moving back to be a success.

One thing I learned about myself is that it took a long time for me to grieve Mike. I learned this while I ran the grief group at HopeWest Hospice. While I tried to fight the grief for a long time, once I got to know the men and women who grieved their spouses I suppose I was able to "normalize" my grief with their experiences. Moving to Montrose was a way for me to come to terms with everything in my life-who I am, what I love, who I love, and what "home" means to me. I was able to ponder and write and do art around everything I needed to reconcile. I had the opportunity to do this in a quiet home with beautiful views and time on my hands. Before running the grief group, I didn't personally understand what "resolving your grief" really meant. After running the group and being able to spend a quiet year in the country I do, and actually feel quite resolved.

Now it is onto the next journey, the chapter or phase...whatever you prefer to call change and choice. I no longer identify so much with "What I do" for a living but now identify with who I am as a person. Someone who has found that my own personal truth was right under my nose the whole time. I am a person who loves to love, and loves to love the people I love, and having them around me is more important than attempting new adventures all alone. I love life. I love to do things. I love the synergy of the hustle and bustle, the choices that are available of things to eat, see, do, explore. My heart is full once again with the thought of being a part of the very things I left behind.

I decided to resurrect this blog and continue writing about my life's adventures here, but if you would like to revisit my life's adventures on the Western Slope you can at this blog:

City Girl to the Western Slope

I have no regrets; rather, I have been filled with the most beautiful and wonderful experiences a person can have. I soaked in hot springs; I walked new trails; I saw incredible sunrises, sunsets, and lunar eclipses; I stared at the Milky Way; I watched deer in the dawn light; I met amazing rural people who let me into their lives and hearts; I shared the gifts of the Western Slope with family and friends. Regrets are for the weak of heart, for those who wish they did something different because they can't face the choices they make. I know I am strong of heart, and accept that the choices I make only add to my strength as a person.

Cheers to the easy decisions as well as the tough choices. Cheers to choosing love.

XO Mel