Did I ever leave?

I moved back to Denver this weekend. I think I recall when I moved to the Western Slope I said something like, "I am never moving back to Denver."Okay, rub it in for just a second....There. Now I get my dignity back. A friend emailed me the other day and said to me, "Don't consider moving back a failure, Mel..."and quite honestly...I don't. A year later and a lot wiser, I actually consider moving back to be a success.

One thing I learned about myself is that it took a long time for me to grieve Mike. I learned this while I ran the grief group at HopeWest Hospice. While I tried to fight the grief for a long time, once I got to know the men and women who grieved their spouses I suppose I was able to "normalize" my grief with their experiences. Moving to Montrose was a way for me to come to terms with everything in my life-who I am, what I love, who I love, and what "home" means to me. I was able to ponder and write and do art around everything I needed to reconcile. I had the opportunity to do this in a quiet home with beautiful views and time on my hands. Before running the grief group, I didn't personally understand what "resolving your grief" really meant. After running the group and being able to spend a quiet year in the country I do, and actually feel quite resolved.

Now it is onto the next journey, the chapter or phase...whatever you prefer to call change and choice. I no longer identify so much with "What I do" for a living but now identify with who I am as a person. Someone who has found that my own personal truth was right under my nose the whole time. I am a person who loves to love, and loves to love the people I love, and having them around me is more important than attempting new adventures all alone. I love life. I love to do things. I love the synergy of the hustle and bustle, the choices that are available of things to eat, see, do, explore. My heart is full once again with the thought of being a part of the very things I left behind.

I decided to resurrect this blog and continue writing about my life's adventures here, but if you would like to revisit my life's adventures on the Western Slope you can at this blog:

City Girl to the Western Slope

I have no regrets; rather, I have been filled with the most beautiful and wonderful experiences a person can have. I soaked in hot springs; I walked new trails; I saw incredible sunrises, sunsets, and lunar eclipses; I stared at the Milky Way; I watched deer in the dawn light; I met amazing rural people who let me into their lives and hearts; I shared the gifts of the Western Slope with family and friends. Regrets are for the weak of heart, for those who wish they did something different because they can't face the choices they make. I know I am strong of heart, and accept that the choices I make only add to my strength as a person.

Cheers to the easy decisions as well as the tough choices. Cheers to choosing love.

XO Mel