Weekend in Scottsdale

Here is happy me on the first day of my trip to Scottsdale.

Mom and dad had been staying there for about 10 days or so. Robert and I decided to join them in a little sun and for a little Rockies' spring training. After they picked me up at the airport, we went to the Desert Botanical Gardens. Here we are, one big happy...

...enjoying such flora as cacti, petunias, shrubs, trees, and artful containers.

The hightlight at the gardens was the Butterfly Pavillion. There were butterflies swarming all over, and we managed to see most of the species in the brochure. I liked this idea-a bird bath with oranges to attract the butterflies:

Friday night, mom and I wandered around the 5th avenue shops and had dinner at a really good restaurant.

They boys went to a Rockies game so mom spent the night at my hotel. We watched TV and slept okay, until being awoken at 1:30am to club noise from across the parking lot. Needless to say, I changed my room the next day! Saturday, we all had our own R&R. I sat by the pool, read, wandered the shops, napped and then we all met Sue, Chris and Morgan at our favorite pizza place-Grimaldi's (apologies for not getting a picture with everyone!). Robert and I hit the night life and visited a few bars, but of course I was in bed by 10pm. Sunday, we went to the Rockies/Cubs game. We were the only ones in purple because it is the Cubs spring training field. Dad suggested that we not be too obnoxious. We saw Tom and Matthew and were able to chat for a bit. It was such a great preview into baseball season!

I left for home Monday afternoon, looking forward to seeing the pups and getting back into my routine. But I miss the warm weather and that pool which made reading outdoors an unseasonable pleasure!

Sign of spring

All week I had been thinking about getting outside over the weekend. I pondered going to Boulder or Fort Collins to walk around, or to Chatfield with the dogs, or someplace that would allow me to soak up some vitamin D. Mid-week I realized what I would do. I met some past work friends one night for dinner and one of them was telling me about a mutual friend that I lost contact with. Her name is Negar and I always enjoyed her company. Life got in the way, Mike got sick and so she and I lost touch. I found out that she has MS and is now in a wheelchair. When I got home, I called Negar, hoping the number I had was correct. We talked for a while, and I asked what she was doing Sunday. She said she would be home, and I asked if I could visit her. She lives in Evergreen and I thought this would be a perfect way for me to spend a beautiful day.

I had no idea that not only would I be benefitting from some sun and mountain air but that I would also be benefitting from the wisdom that Negar has cultivated during this journey of hers. She is indeed wheelchair bound, but she drives this little scooter around that isn't as bulky as a wheelchair. She eats super healthy, almost raw foods so she made me a fruit smoothie. She also had me try cashew cream-a recipe of half a bag of cashews, the juice of one lemon, and two or three tablespoons of agave. It all goes in the blender and out comes this cream that tastes like something eaten in heaven.

We sat on her back porch with beautiful views and we talked. We laughed, we cried, and I didn't leave until 4 hours later. Negar has come to such peace with her situation. She told me something profound. She said, "I look at life like an experiment. If something isn't working out, I will tell myself to try something different. What if it works? It is worth the try." We talked a lot about the good that comes out of the bad. She said she is a deeper more spiritual person now because, well, she has no choice. She can't go out and about like she used to; she can't drive so she has to rely on other people. So she sits, she reads, she meditates, she eats well, and has an amazing caregiver that she calls her soul sister. All of this with a backdrop of evergreen trees and mountaintops.

I needed this dose of Negar today. I took a brave step to call her, after it being so long. And it was like no time passed, or maybe that time passed with both of us becoming deeper people. To top it off, it was the first day of spring. I am hoping for this to be a sign of a good year to come.

Happy Birthday

Happy 38th birthday, Mike! We are thinking of you and loving you down here...and celebrating that we knew you.

Just a reminder

Aimee, Monty (the dog) and I, along with a friend of hers from out of town, poured ourselves a glass of white wine (a "roadie" it is called) and took a walk at the park tonight. It was 6pm, but the sun was in its last setting stage and we didn't need coats. Aimee's friend is from North Carolina so she doesn't visit Wash Park every day. We chose to walk around the South lake and her friend kept looking up and saying just how beautiful the view and the night was. And it was...beautiful. But it took me a second to realize that indeed it was beautiful. The sky was green turning blue; streetlights lit up the lake; the air was crisp but not too cold. I didn't fully realize how beautiful the night was until I was coming home later in the evening. I looked up in the sky and saw stars. Yes...spring and summer lovers...I saw stars tonight. I saw the big dipper. It was a beautiful sight, and I had to take a breath and appreciate it. What is funny is that I thought I had learned to incorporate this kind of appreciation everyday...but weeks go by and stuff happens and time goes on...it takes unexpected moments like the walk I had today to remind me to appreciate that life is bigger than me.

Stuck in the middle with you...and okay with that

I had a delightful moment tonight. My friend Shelley has a daughter-Jane-who is in high school. Jane is uber talented and has held the female lead in her high school plays this past year. Whenever Jane performs I go to whatever performance she is in because...well...she is like family to me. Shelley bought me a ticket to see Jane perform as Amneris in Aida, one of the female leads in the play. Jane has a lovely voice and stage presence which makes me think she is a true natural. It is by all accounts a high school play. Lots of high schoolers and parents attended. Which means the crowd was a combination of 15-18 year olds and 40 plusses.

So here is my pleasant moment...during intermission, in the bathroom...I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. No, silly, that in and of itself did not create a pleasant moment. Here is what did. I saw myself in the mirror, between the 16 year old high school girl who came to see her friends perform and the 60 year old grandma who came to see her granddaughter be an actress in this play. I saw myself in the in between. My well fitted jeans. My coordinated top and jewlery. My round hips and thighs-not in a bad way but...well...in a sensual, good way. My cute hair style and fashionable glasses. A smile that played on the corner of my mouth. I almost didn't recognize myself in that moment. I held a confidence I didn't know I had. I wasn't the 16 year old girl who didn't know who she was; nor was I the 60 year old woman who was already wizened to who she was. I was me. Mid 30's, cute, 'lil ol me. I have spent my life wanting to be physically different than who I really am and yes...one glimpse in the mirror as a 35 year old tells me I am exactly where and who I should be. Wow. What a moment. To smile, at myself, in the mirror. And truly mean it.

Clean

I am so excited.

The little things in life bring me happiness. Saturday is the day of clean. That is right...not a cleaning day, but THE day of CLEAN. It all starts with Chester and Stan. Both smell horrible. Mike used to call it "Taco Paw" smell-literally, they both smell like tacos. I scheduled them for a bath on Saturday morning. While they are in their spa, I will buy new dog beds, buy new leashes and collars, and vaccuum, dust and clean the house to the bone. They will get home, smell like soap, and settle in to nice, clean beds. We will take a walk with new leashes where my hands don't get dirty just holding them. The house will smell fresh and not like old, dirty dogs.

I can't wait.

Sunshine

It is that time of year when I get tricked. I am looking out the window here at work, thinking about gardening. I am dreaming of a nice long walk in the park. I am envisioning green grass, tulips, the smell of spring showers. I know in reality the grass is still brown, the trees are still naked, and planting season is another two months away. I can't help it...the sunshine makes me ill with spring fever.

At work my boss buys fresh flowers each week to brighten up the place. She is out of town so I took the initiative to provide the flowers. I bought white daisies and yellow alstroemeria this morning and did a little floral maintenence. The colors really have a spring feel to them and are aiding in my impatience for spring. At least I get off work early enough to take a nice walk outside and enjoy the warm sun. And here is a sneak peek at everything sunshine: