40 days until 40

A while back, I posted there were 10 things I wanted to accomplish before turning 40, which is coming up in February!

http://mel-outsidelookingin.blogspot.com/2014/12/my-20-before-40-bucket-list.html

Well, I only made 2 out of 10. I went on a guided weekend retreat, and I got Rene who makes my heart melt every day. While I did get a meaningful job, the jury is still out whether or not I jump out of bed to get going every morning (more on that, later). I never did hike a 14er, go camping, or back to the ocean. After I got Rene, things came to a stand-still so I could train her, feel comfortable about leaving her, etc. I never did get working on that children's book (but remained inspired by stories of authors who took 15 years to write their first best-sellers!). I still have time to try to roast a perfect chicken, so maybe I will try to tackle that one in the next few weeks.

I was walking today with a friend/neighbor and she said, "Why don't you do a list of 40 days until 40, and put on that list everything you want to accomplish before your 40th birthday?" It sounded like a cool idea, but then I got overwhelmed, feeling as though I would have to pack in so many different things in such a short period of time. She and I then got to talking about how we both love the New Year, the possibilities for that coming year, and putting behind us anything that wasn't inspiring in 2015. I came home, picked up my Oprah magazine I got at the store the other day, and was further inspired by the idea of just being a better me, living a better life in 2016. Not a perfect life, but a better, more inspired, more soulful life. So, instead of creating a huge list of 40 things to accomplish, I have made a list of things I want to do each day toward a better me, starting on January 3rd through February 11th and beyond. Heck, starting today, actually! Maybe on my birthday I will think about a new list, maybe add to this one, or maybe do a "year of 40" things to accomplish. But hey, this is a start, and accessible.

• Be expressive. Express who I am-In what I wear, in what I say to others, in who I am in the world…Express myself daily!
• Floss daily (not a few times a week, as is my habit).
• Brush Rene's teeth every day (Greyhounds notoriously have bad teeth, so brushing is a must and I don't always do it for her).
• Do one, kind, out of the way thing for somebody daily.
• While listening to NPR is something I enjoy, I find the stories affect my mood. Especially focusing on all that is happening in conflict in the world. So, cut back on my NPR intake. Listen intentionally, and then change it up and put on some music I enjoy instead.
• Recently, I have found myself while zipping around town for my job stopping to get food that sounds good but isn't healthy. My recent favorite indulgence has been Bruegger's Bagels. But as the week goes on, these choices add up to very unhealthy. So, make one healthy choice daily beyond what I already do. For example, if I crave that bagel get one, but maybe eat half, or get the shmear on the side.
• Pack my lunch daily. The days I don't are the days I often don't make the best eating decisions.
• Walk, daily. Get up a little earlier to make sure Rene and I get 30min in the morning and 30min at night, regardless of weather conditions.
• Every day, reach out to a different loved one-via email, texting or phone. Just a small reaching out gesture can go a long way in continuing valued friendships.
• Take my vitamins, daily. Here is my regimen-Vitamin D, Flaxseed, Cranberry, Milk Thistle. But more often than not after breakfast I forget. Here is to remembering!
• Choose not to be shlumpy, daily. Sometimes when I go for a walk, or let Rene out for the last time at night, I am in shlumpy clothes, my hair is a mess, and thus I present myself to the world as shlumpy. Each day, maybe add a nice scarf or something to make myself look a little less shlumpy! No one wants to be 40 and shlumpy! Not a good combination.
• Clean out something every day. Whether it be my car, my fridge, a really annoying drawer, just take a few minutes to get rid of the garbage, put things away a little nicer and keep things organized and cleaned. If I tackle one thing every day, imagine how much more organized I would be!
• Get 7-8 hours of sleep, daily.

You get the picture. "Sharpen the saw" as Dr. Roger Teel of Mile Hi Church calls it. Then maybe a sharper saw will get me to the top of that 14er or in front of my computer to write my first children's book. It certainly couldn't hurt!

For the love of greyhounds

I love being connected to the organization, still, where I adopted Rene…Friends of Retired Greyhounds or FORG. They have become my official favorite organization to support! I gave to Colorado Gives Day to support them; I have signed up to be a "home visit" volunteer to interview potential adopters/fosters; and most importantly, took Rene to the pictures with Santa fundraiser!

I was happy to see that Rene and I could have our family photo taken with Santa!

Here is Rene and her "Bestie" Ellie. Ellie and Rene's story below…published in the Dec 2015 FORG Newsletter…The Greyt Informer

Rene and Ellie are best friends, and their friendship blossomed in the most unusual way! Rene was adopted from FORG by Melanie in April 2015 and had been a pretty shy hound. Everything scared her, so the adoption coordinator at FORG encouraged Melanie to expose Rene to as much as possible. One week after adopting Rene, Melanie took her to a pet store for her first time. This shy greyhound wouldn’t go up to anyone, but in the store a kind woman named Barbara approached and Rene slowly approached her and let herself be petted. Barbara was at the pet store buying items for her cat, but she and Melanie got to talking about greyhounds, as Barbara was looking to adopt a dog. Barbara found Rene to be a real sweetheart, so that afternoon Barbara went to a FORG Dog Haul to see what greyhounds, and FORG, were all about. Walking off the trailer was Angel, a beautiful white greyhound. Barbara fell in love right away and took Angel, now Ellie, home with her that evening! Ellie became an official member of Barbara’s family at the “Greyhound Walk” at the beginning of the summer.

Rene and Ellie have spent time taking walks together at various parks and playing in Barbara’s backyard. At first, Ellie wasn’t interested in romping around the yard as she was just learning how to be “a dog” but one morning Rene, after learning how to have some fun herself, chased her around in the yard! Since Ellie joined Barbara’s family, she has come out of her shell and now can confidently play and run at the dog park.

Melanie and Barbara have become fast friends, too. Both have found similarities in loving the arts and fashion, especially greyhound gear! They can be found sharing coffee and breakfast pastries on the porch on summer mornings while Rene and Ellie romp in the yard, or they may meet up at such greyhound events like organized walks and pictures with Santa!
Thank you, FORG, for being the force behind lifelong friendships!

A little reunion

My two very favorite women-Stacy from Portland and local friend Meg-were in the same coffee shop with me the other day, and this hasn't happened since 2012.

These two friends are really like family. One I talk to a few times a week on the phone and see about once a month, the other I talk to maybe every 6 months on the phone and see every few years. Both, however, bring that feeling that we can pick up where we left off and there never feels like a break in between. I would trust these two with my life, as I trust these two with my heart which is a pretty special thing!

The three of us at Stacy's Wedding probably 5 years ago…

The three of us in 2012…

The three of us now!

Beautiful women, inside and out, I must admit! Love you ladies!

XO Mel

The Ringkeeper

Today I became a keeper of rings. For a short time, anyway. I know, some people picture Gollum from The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings; or perhaps a maiden holding rings of two souls ready to wed. My ringkeeping isn’t romantic, but perhaps a tad mysterious. What is the story behind these rings? Why are they so important?

After being sick for a few days I knew I couldn't get out of work today as our weekly team meeting was scheduled for the afternoon. I turned my work phone on at 7am to find an email from the on call nurse that patient Ms. E died and she needed relief by 8am which was when her shift ended. Relief for a death usually means someone to sit and wait until the body is picked up, in case family wants to be there and to be respectful and supportive to the mortuary, nursing facility or family home. In some cases, this can take hours. In Ms. E’s case, when it was all said and done only a little over an hour passed.

I met Ms. E a few times as she was a patient on my caseload. She lived in a nursing facility not far from my condo. Estranged from her children, her nephew was her medical power of attorney and a very caring soul. Because her death happened somewhat unexpectedly, he wasn’t able to get to the facility in time to gather her personal belongings today.

Hence, I became the keeper of the rings.

The two times I visited Ms. E she would fiddle with her fingers. On one finger she had three rings that she would twist and turn. One with a diamond, one with rubies and a diamond, and this sweet little ring with 4 green stones. She would twist them on her finger and I took notice. I asked her about them and in her few words she said how special they were. So, today, before the hospice nurse left the nursing home we checked Ms. E for personal belongings and there were, of course, her rings layered on her one finger.

I called the nephew. “What should I do about the rings?” We hemmed and hawed, over the phone, deciding to wait until the mortuary came so I could have time to ask the facility about the protocol for such a matter. Once the rings were in my hands, though, that pretty much sealed the deal. No one in the facility really wanted to take responsibility. “That is really between you and the nephew,” one staff member told me. Another threw up her hands. “I am not at the nurses station all the time. I can’t secure them there.”

I called the nephew back. “I know you have to come and get her things, and I don’t live far. Why don’t I meet you tomorrow at the facility and I will deliver the rings?” He was very appreciative and we agreed to a time. After her body was taken and all the paperwork was completed I took the rings and had to make a few other visits before stopping home and moving on to the meeting. I had no where in my car to store these precious rings and so I put them in an empty Mentos gum container and placed them securely in my cupholder. “There”, I thought. “People peering in will just see a gum container, and I know exactly where the rings are.” I went about my visits, came home, brought the gum container inside, and prayed no one chose that particular time to break into my condo and steal a gum container full of precious rings (as the greyhound would be sound asleep on the queen sized bed, not to be bothered).

Of course no one broke in my condo while in possession of these rings, and it isn’t as though I am talking about some sort of bling bling like a Kardashian would wear, either. The rings are tarnished and dirty. One ring has missing stones, the diamond ring is dirty under the diamond. I found a small ring polishing cloth bag that I will deliver them in, not in the gum container, but decided not to actually polish them. Let the nephew do that. Let him enjoy the mystery behind the tarnished and dirty old rings.

I would like to think that someone, someday, will ensure my rings find a special place. Most of my rings are costume jewelry, really. Heck, most of my jewelry isn’t worth much. There are a few special pieces. My Tiffany and CO bracelet and necklace which were a gift to myself because, hey, someone needed to give these to me! And of course, a ruby engagement ring and two white gold wedding bands with hand engraved names Michael and Melanie and the date March 25, 2000 on the inside.

Who might be the ring keeper of these rings? Who might guess the story behind them? Who might ensure they get to a meaningful place?

Sick Day

I had a tough night last night, a searing headache, vomiting, etc. I hardly slept! So, I am staying home today from work and pretty much just hunkering in with Rene. The first thing I thought when I woke up was, "I want my mom!" So I called her and whined and ask for mommy to bring me soup. Voila! She and Dad did, of course. Soup, bread, jello and ginger ale. These are the marks of parental love for a sick child, no matter how old that child may be (dare I say nearing 40??)

It is funny, when I get sick (and I know other people do this, too!) I always try to identify why. Was it food poisoning? No, I cooked the dinner and everything was done thoroughly and cleanly. Was it the nursing facility I visited Friday with all the signs of rampant sickness that was all around the building? Maybe. Was it the craft fair where I was a vendor on Saturday? All those hands touching everything. 

Maybe.

Oh yes…the craft fair! My friend Kristin and I like to think ourselves as crafty and artsy. Ever since I lived in Montrose I have really tried to make "making stuff" a self-care technique, especially in my line of hospice social work. I used to make these inspirational collages and started making these little boxes of love, friendship, gratitude, etc where I put little quotes of such topics inside. Kristin makes beautiful handmade cards, and her husband Greg designed and got printed sports towels with the Colorado logo. We all decided to finally take our crafts and try out a craft fair. Mom and I go to Cook Park to their craft fair every year so I thought it would be the perfect place to try this out. The table cost was cheap, only $20 and just one day of commitment. It started out slow but the pace picked up. I took a couple of special orders, sold a few boxes and earrings, and Kristin sold some of her items too. I made about $100 and met some really nice people. I enjoyed hearing about the people they were giving their boxes to and for what purpose. One woman's niece was getting married the next day so she bought my "little box of love." One women's sister was having a tough time so she bought my "tiny box of happiness" to send to her. A friend ordered 5 "boxes of gratitude" for her book club. A neighbor ordered one as a goodbye gift to his old boss. It was a great way to spend the day, and I must admit, worth it if it is where I caught my little stomach bug!

Kristin and me in front of our table

Her very creative and beautiful cards

Greg's Colorado sports towel-it has a little grommet and hook so you can attach it to your sport bag

My handmades

Some of our customers were friends and family! I haven't seen these lovely ladies (Meg and Mia, Amy and Maddie)  in quite some time, as life has us in all different directions. 

The fact that they came for a little while was food for my soul!

Day of the Dead at Denver Botanic Gardens

A few years ago I hosted a "Dia de los Muertes" or Day of the Dead party. I set up a place to create an altar, had children's activities like coloring in skeleton masks and making paper flowers, had Panaderia de los Muertoes, and an opportunity for friends and family to come together and celebrate our departed loved ones. Here is the link to a very brief post about that party:

http://mel-outsidelookingin.blogspot.com/2012/11/di-de-los-muertos.html

Today I decided to visit the Denver Botanic Gardens and their Dia de los Muertos celebration. Not only was it full of all the colors and celebration of the event, the gardens themselves were bursting with color!

We were welcomed by this lad and his masked friends at the entrance

This gal was ready to tell everyone where to go and what to do at the event

Little details like these flags made the event very special

They had alters throughout the garden with visually enjoyable colors and items

The gardens themselves were bursting with color even though winter is near

This statue intrigued me…of all the times I have been at DBG I have never stumbled upon this little statue-always something new to discover at DBG!

This little pavilion reminds me of something I would see in Paris, not Mexico, but lovely all the same

A long weekend with friends

I don't blog much, if at all, about my job. It is a constant balancing act between what is fulfilling, stressful, life giving and life draining. I love my patients, I dislike some of the processes. Like any job, even though this one has that special aspect of death, loss and grief, there are ups and downs. It has become a main goal of mine to "create a life" versus just "make a living." And in that creation of a life, focusing on my life outside of work, and the self-care that can bring, is where I value my time in nature, time with family and friends, creative time and time, of course, with my greyhound.

I decided it was time, yet again, for a long weekend in Estes Park at my favorite YMCA cabins. I knew the weather would be changing and that October is the perfect time to see leaves turning colors and catch all the elk, deer, wild turkeys, birds, and perhaps even a bear, who are rummaging around getting ready for the cold weather. I booked a large cabin with the thought that I would be okay by myself but maybe I would invite some friends. Kristin's birthday is today, so I invited her and her husband Greg and dog Sammy to join me. It was a three bedroom cabin so I invited Jill along. It was so much fun to have the interaction and friendship, but I also got some time alone as everyone left yesterday and I had last night and this morning to myself (with Rene, of course!).

We got into Estes and everyone met at the visitor center. We walked to the river walk and Greg offered to hold Rene and Sammy while we girls shopped. I was pretty nervous about it, after all my girl can get a little skittish around too many people and activity. But she settled in just fine and I was able to meander into a few stores I haven't been to in quite a while.

 Here is Rene in the water while Greg was greyhound sitting. She looks pretty content, this helicopter mama must admit!

After we walked the shops we checked into the cabin. We got settled in and Greg ran off downtown to get some pizza and beer for himself. We girls of course pulled out the food and wine. And Rene of course found her place on the bed, after spending time with her special friend Sammy. Any view seems to be a breath of fresh air from the YMCA cabins! This was ours from our cabin named "Conifer."

We ate and drank, made a fire and played a long round of 5 Crowns. Jill and I were in bed by 10, Kristin and Greg were up a lot later. That first night no one slept too great, as the fire and the electric heat made the cabin really hot. The next morning, Kristin, Greg and Sammy went into town to get coffee and shop, Jill went to get a massage and I stayed in the cabin working on a craft project, doing a short yoga DVD and watching the white tailed bucks who were snacking just outside the cabin. A blue jay was close at hand as well. Let the wildlife watching begin…

What deer is this? What fawn? Oh wait…it is the greyhound!

No trip to Estes Park is complete without a drive through RMNP. We girls went up yesterday and just drove leisurely through, capturing pictures of the changing colors. Most were yellow, and it was a delight to see pops of yellow peeking through the pines.

By about 5 o'clock everyone headed home. Rene and I went to town to get some dinner and then we settled in the cabin for the night. We drove through RMNP on our way home, and got to glimpse some snow falling on the peaks as well as some rain. It was a lovely fall weekend getaway and I feel refreshed to tackle another week of work, having re-set my appreciation for living one day at a time.

Revisiting Berry Patch Farms

In 2008, Meg introduced me to Berry Patch Farms via Mia's 2nd birthday party. It is a pick your own produce and flower farm in Brighton, and they also have a farmer's market. Since I am not on the Western Slope this year, I was in the mood for a little time on the farm. Saturday I took myself back to Berry Patch Farms, enjoyed the feeling of it all, and bought some delicious fresh produce from the farmer's market.

Roosters!

 Here is the pick your own field. Hard to believe Denver is 30 miles away!

The farmer's market

So much welcome!

Published!

I am happy to report that I am now a published writer! I wrote a little piece on traveling with a dog, and submitted to the Washington Park Profile. Here is the link!


Traveling with a Canine Companion

It is in the actual paper as well. Originally the topic was solo traveling with a dog, and it was 1500 words. I had to cut it down to 600 words and make it more general. So, even though it isn't as good as the original copy, it is certainly super cool to have an editor think my writing was good enough to be published!

End of Summer

It seems like just yesterday I was itching for summer. We had such a rainy spring that summer didn't seem to kick in until almost July! Now it is Labor Day weekend. I promised myself to make this weekend feel like a vacation. And it has! Saturday, Rene and I had a play date with her greyhound friend Ellie over at Barbara's house. She and I sat on the patio and ate cornbread while the girls played. Ellie used to be so stoic and she never really seemed interested in engaging. Saturday, however, she finally was acting like a dog! She and Rene played, and she begged for corn bread. She has come a long way, like Rene, and I am really proud of both Barbara and I in not giving up on our girls! Saturday afternoon Rene and I went to Mom and Dad's and we stayed the night. Rene laid in the grass and got plenty of attention from Grandma and Grandpa. We all watched The Last Song which always brings tears to my eyes. This morning I met Tonda for brunch at Racines and it was so nice to catch up with her. And now Rene and I are staying the night at my favorite Table Mountain Inn in Golden. We are here for the night and will go to Golden Gate State Park tomorrow. Then to top the weekend off we will be having a BBQ at the folks' house tomorrow night.

Rene has indeed come a long way! She has never enjoyed crowds, but today she walked along the busy Golden Main Street and, though spooked by a thing or two, did really well. We walked over to the Clear Creek path where everyone was playing in the water and tubing. It was pretty warm out, so we came back to the hotel and Rene is now resting on the king size bed.

I absolutely love The Table Mountain Inn. Here is just a glimpse why! The outside is just as welcoming as the inside. Look at how colorful the flowers are!

Our room is on the 2nd floor with a courtyard view.  The courtyard is strung with lights and it reminds me of a little European rooftop view.

 There are some days where I wish I could hang a sign like this outside my condo door!

Clear Creek tubers

Wherever Rene and I go, she always gets attention!