For the past few years (I don't know how many) the only Halloween tradition I abide by is the last farmer's market on Old South Pearl Street. Meg, the kids, and sometimes V accompany me with a Stella's coffee in hand on this day. The kids are in their Halloween costumes, and go up to each vendor who has containers full of candy. It is the one farmer's market where I don't feel pressure to buy anything...It is all for the kids. As we walk the street, we see other children wearing their costumes. Oh, and dogs, too. Today we saw a dog dressed as a sheep, and a dog dressed in a Broncos jersey to match his owner.
I love this day. This routine. I don't care how long we stay. I don't care if one of the kids isn't at their best. I just love...A) Being with Meg and the kids (and V) and B) Being at the last glimpse of Summer/Harvest time/Community time...whatever it is called. It is a ritual where, if I have anything to do with it, these kids will be teenagers; reluctantly wearing their costumes (Darth Vader for Luca? Princess Leia for Mia? Let's see how much I can influence them...) and probably carrying coffees of their own. Mia will want to look at the clothing racks along the sidewalks; Luca will want to eat whatever is in sight and will be texting all his friends.
I like to think of this ritual as something I can be a part of that is bigger than me. I know Meg (V) and the kids go home to their own daily rituals. I don't have those. I wish I did. So, I find ways I can nestle myself into my friends' 'tribes'. I think my friends who have kids think their kids are a burden to me for some reason...but they are not. They fill a space for me...a space I don't have but a much needed space all the same. Those walks where you and I meet and you push the stroller along are a treasure to me. Those dates at the mall where your 3 year old runs all around the play area are golden. Those times I come to dinner and make paper airplanes so your precious 8 year old can outdo me are priceless. Those nights at your house over a glass of wine or a movie as the kids slumber...I say to my friends: Those are the moments that I treasure.
It is funny how a farmer's market can have all sorts of meanings attached to it. Let's make it a quick winter so we can be there again, strolling along the stalls and feeling like this day is a part of something bigger.
1 comment:
Beautfully written, as per usual. Let me just say, you are never borrowing my tribe my dear....you were a member long before those dear souls that currently live with me. You are a co-founder of sorts. My definition of family extends beyond blood. And you, Melanie, are family. Here is to years and years of traditions - with and without little people and significant others. Here is to us and all that makes up our worlds!
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