Back to basics

I am hoping that my Facebook free life will help bring me back to basics. I have never been one to be able to keep up with a lot of friends. I have always been the type who has enough friends to enrich life but not too many to glide along on the surface. And for some reason, I take that Facebook friend concept seriously and haven't felt connected to the majority of 231 people called my friends. Somehow it has become a substitute for a good old fashioned phone call, email or letter. I have been reading a book called A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last by Stephen Levine for one of my social work classes. I think it's message has been living in the back of my mind since I started it. The book isn't about writing your bucket list and achieving things like climbing a mountain and skydiving. It is more about getting over the fear of living in order to understand dying. The author takes on a 365 day experiment of living as if it were his last year. A bit of an abstract concept, I know, but I have been thinking about, "if I had a year to live, what would that look like?" I can tell you right now I wouldn't worry about being on a diet or whether I have been tagged in enough Facebook pictures to be popular! It is a reflection on what kind of freedoms does really knowing our mortality give us? The book encourages doing a life review with soft and non-judgemental eyes; it encourages us to embrace ourselves when we are sick and really know what not having control feels like; it encourages us to soften our bellies and breathe, really feeling life. Sometimes I feel like I should be further along in this process, having had a partner die and seeing what that process was like. So many people tell me that gosh, I must have really learned the importance of living in the moment. I guess I did, but I think that if I don't keep those thoughts in the forefront of my mind I forget about them and fall back into the anxiety I sometimes have about my life. Why am I doing this degree? Why do I have to write this stupid paper? Will next year be as stressful as this one has been? If I take a soft belly moment, though, I begin to see things more clearly. I take a walk and look at neighborhood gardens before writing that paper. I treat myself to an Earl Grey cambric before going off to that internship. I spoon Chester before I fall asleep and I dance with Stanley when I am awake. I practice gratitude for what I do have, and know I can get through times of lack. I did have a great experience on Saturday. I connected with an old friend through email (not Facebook!), went to a party last weekend at her place and saw more friends where it had been awhile. One invited me up to watch the Furry Scurry and I met her along with about 7 other people on Saturday at the park. We sat along the side and became the "petting station" for however many of the 7,000 dogs wanted to stop by. It was one of those truly beautiful and authentically fun moments that living a 365 day type experiment is all about. I am anticipating many more of those.