Interesting Converstation

I went to the eye doctor today to update my prescription, get a new pair of eyeglasses, and also refresh my sunglass prescription. It was the first time I had visited this eye doctor, so she asked me why I came in and I told her that I am moving and just wanted to get my eyes checked before the move. We chatted for a bit, she asked me a series of questions...where are you moving? What are you going to do for work? Are you single or married? Nowadays I just say single unless it is someone who I can captivate for over an hour. Once I told her single and moving to Montrose, she looked concerned and said, "Wow! It is going to be really hard to meet someone in a small town, isn't it?" I recognize transference when I see it, and noticed she does not have a wedding ring, and she is young, so perhaps her mind for herself is already focused on meeting someone. I just laughed her off and said, "Well, there is probably a Match.com or something in that area of the state", got my prescription (and I must note that next exam we may delve deeper into "progressives"...ugh...meeting 40 soon...), and I left.

Never once have I thought that if I move to Montrose my prospects of meeting a mate are less than zero.

But, in Denver, they are as well.

And, I already had the man of my dreams. Now my job is to have the life of my dreams. And this is another step toward that life.

I watch Oprah's "Super Soul Sunday" each week and she had the music artist India.Arie on last Sunday. India.Arie hit it big with music, lost herself, went into spiritual crisis, found herself, and is now on her path. She said one thing that spoke to me. "The one job we have in this life is to be ourselves." Yes. Yes. Yes.

Since Mike died, I never really determined who I was. I kind of stayed the same person only minus him. But I have had a number of reminders that I need to connect with who I am. I remember a phone conversation I had with Meg after a book club. My lovely book club, full of wonderful women who are moms, married, and lead professional work lives. I wasn't connecting, and every meeting I was feeling more and more isolated. I was trying to be the same kind of person as they were, but couldn't be which lead me to frustration that I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

This journey to Grand Junction and Montrose is MINE! I get to do with it what I wish. And I get to fulfill my job to be myself. Maybe that person never meets the next man of her dreams. Maybe that person doesn't love the job or the area and chooses something different. Maybe that person snuggles in and embeds herself into this new community and lives there for the rest of her life. Who knows!

All I know is that signs point me in my direction. My love of Montrose back in 2000. My desire to leave city living behind. My desire to work in hospice and also work in community. The fact that my truck and house sold in perfect circumstances. I just need to breathe, listen, and move slowly but assuredly toward the next step. I have all the belief in the world that my next steps will be utterly amazing and exactly what I need to fulfill my job in life of being me.