Well...I am approaching week #3 of losing my Mike. It is getting harder...maybe the last two weeks I have been a bit numb or something and now the numbness is wearing off. I just miss him-no more, no less. I miss his presence at home, watching TV, eating meals together, sleeping together, and just talking. All the small things we did day to day...I don't feel like I took any of it for granted though. There was one day in December where I was driving to the hospital to see him and I truly felt that every day that I did see him was a blessing. That feeling stayed with me all these months, even through the stress and frustration I would feel from time to time.
I have decided to eat well now that I am alone. I don't want my dinners to be frozen meals or my snacks to be chips. I want to nourish myself during my grief. So, I gave some thought to being purposeful in cooking. I made a homemade soup and grilled cheese/tomato panini's over the weekend. I had the family over and made Pasta Puttanesca. I am going to dust off my Gourmet magazines, remember my log in to The Food Network online, and cook. And eat. I am not going to worry about losing weight, I am going to worry about nourishing myself and others who may join me. So, from time to time I may share a recipe that I made for myself or friends because I truly believe cooking is therapeutic.
Chester and Stanley are unlearning all the training we had done. Not that they were ever "A" students but they have both gotten pretty unruly. Chester licked my breakfast plate this morning! And Stanley helped himself right up on the bed without an invitation! Walks are painful at the very least because I often have to drag Stan away from sniffing and get pulled by Chester toward something he can eat. Oh well. Now is not the time to crack down. They are sad just like me. I think we all have our own amount of time to be "a mess".
No comments:
Post a Comment