One month

It has been one month since Mike transitioned from this world to the next. Every Friday I reflect on the events of that day, especially between 3 and 4pm. As time passes I just miss him more and more. It seems every little thing makes me think of him. I was driving to the mall yesterday recalling all the times he and I would spend a Saturday milling about the mall. Things like that I think about.

I did take a huge step yesterday. For the past month, the bedroom has stayed in the same condition as when Mike was alive, at home. His jammies and jeans hung on the door; his shoes under the dresser; the dresser drawers full of his socks, undies, and other clothes. I spent the evening cleaning out my closet, putting the fall and winter clothes in the closet and the summer clothes away. I decided it was time to at least move his clothes to the back closet. I took the clothes off the back of the door and hung them in the back closet. The socks I put in a give away pile; the shoes as well I put in the closet. I am not ready to box them up and donate them yet, but I did need to make room in the bedroom for some of my things.

I am also going to start cleaning out the shed. I think that is a good place to really start. Many of his tools and such don't bring back as many memories, and so I think it is a safe place to start. I am going to make it my gardening shed. Jason is getting Mike's Snap On tool set and will pick that up today. Then I can slowly start to make that my area.

It is so strange to move forward (I refuse to say "move on") without Mike but I know he would want me to not just sit dwelling in sadness. I think one of the reasons he could let go that day was because I promised I would be okay. I need to make sure I keep that promise.