A little spa getaway

November was the last time I did anything to really pamper myself. My trip to Scottsdale did just that-morning jogs, gallery gazing, morning swims, and a relaxing massage were the highlights of this trip-of course, topped off with seeing Sue, Morgan and Eric. After that trip, it seemed as though I was just trying to get by, facing all the major holidays without Mike and knowing I just needed to get through. I decided it was time once again for a little pampering. Not only that, but I wanted to pick up the painting that is now hanging happily on my wall. So, I went to Saratoga, Wyoming to have a little spa time. Once again, I pampered myself with a massage, swimming in hot springs, and soaking under a teepee in 105 degree water. With a friend, I drove into the foothills near the Snowy Range, and around the town and country club, looking at the many millions of dollars of homes and estates. We spent time in the hot springs and just chilled out and watched endless episodes of HGTV shows. We ate a delightful breakfast and packed up my painting in the car. The time spent was worth the 8 hours total of drive time, the first two of which were through excessively thick fog which led to a mild panic attack on my part. So, that spa was a much needed treat. The drive home was much more relaxing and the day was beautiful and clear.

This trip really solidfied for me the need to do this type of thing more often. I am currently in the throes of asking myself life altering quesitons: Must I have a job where I am tied down to an 8-5 schedule, putting in vacation time and living for the weekends? What kind of security am I looking for with this kind of schedule? Am I really in need of such a structured life, or would I benefit more from pursuing activities that give me passion and make me want to live? The rejuvenation I felt from the little getaway makes me want to spend time this summer having a summer-going to the mountains, re-landscaping my yard, walking more in the early hours when it is cool and fresh outside, napping when I feel like it, and maybe working...a little. I didn't have a summer last year, except for one month when Mike felt good and we got out a number of times to do leisure activities. I spent 9 months caring for Mike and working full time, and then I spent these last 6 months grieving and working. Maybe...I am just tired. Maybe I don't want my summer to slip away only to leave me again with a never-ending fall/winter. In the words of William H. Davies:
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.