Intersecting lives

The last two nights I have slept well and dreamt hard. The peculiar thing is that I dreamt about Mike. That hasn't happened in a while. In one dream I had forgotten his birthday, but when I apologized he was okay about it all...his birthday didn't seem to be on his mind. In another dream I was at a friend's house for breakfast, and he showed up and I apologized that there wasn't a place set for him...and he was okay with that, with the plastic cup I set out for orange juice, possibly a cup a child drinks from. Mike wasn't in the least concerned.

I woke up both times feeling pleasantly surprised. I got to see him again, and each time, he was very congenial, even happy and content.

But interestingly, today,I had such a weird morning. One would think after this content night's sleep I would wake up early with a spring in my step. Instead I slept in a little but took the dogs for a walk and had breakfast in a quick amount of time. I even had 5 minutes to spare so I thought a Starbucks Chai was in order to celebrate. That is where the morning turned to mush. The Chai took 10 minutes too long and that put me behind my desired time frame to get to work. I also discovered during my drive that my soup spilled all over the front passenger seat. So, I was not only late but late trying to clean up spilled soup on upholstery. Lovely. I tried to blame these turn of events on something other than what they were, but I couldn't...I knew when I left the house the top to the Tupperware for the soup was loose, I knew that I was trying a new Starbucks and couldn't depend on fast service. I couldn't look to the sky, shake my fist and say "Why Me?" I had to accept that my day started because of my choices.

Until, later in the day, "R" walked into the CCA advising office.

Everyone in the office was busy and I sit close to the front desk. When students walk in I always ask, "Can I help you?" which is the question I dutifully asked from my desk. This man with a familiar face approached me with some paperwork. "Yes, I applied and had to bring in some additional information." I looked at his face, and then down at the documents to his name..."R." I knew immediately that he had been one of Mike's nurses. The vision of the night came back to me...was it one of Mike's last? I slept in the room on a cot, but didn't wake during the night. "R" was so quiet coming into the room with Mike's medications because he was that kind of nurse...stealthy, steadfast, but caring and soft spoken. He helped Mike make it through that night, and when I woke Mike was still there, alive and we held hands. "R" was finishing his rounds, but not before he saw tearful glances exchanged between Mike and I ("I made it" the tears said). When I saw him today I wasn't sure what to do...so I fumbled in my computer system and looked up his record for notes to make sure I was following procedure. I made copies and other notes. I asked myself over and over...Do I say something?

And...I did. I figured life is too short and my dreams too real not to let this man who made a huge impact on me and Mike know what an angel he was that night. So I asked him..."Are you a nurse at PSL?" He said he was. I told him my husband was one of his patients and we thought he was great. I then moved on and got to all the business I needed about him taking community college classes-to supplement his nursing degree. He then asked me, "Who was your husband?" and I said, "Michael McClanahan. You were his nurse during a terrible time. I had spent the night, and you were so quiet and peaceful when you entered the room." This was almost 2 years ago and I really didn't expect this person to remember, but he said, "Ah, yes...I remember you...and your husband. We all do, he made quite an impact on us." I smiled, thanked him, and got him on his way with all his CCA paperwork. But I couldn't shake "R" and the meaning of his visit.

I could, however, guess at this meaning. All of us experience crappy days-a line too long, food that goes bad, a dog who throws up in the corner of the room, ourselves not feeling well because of fatigue or the flu...but we all experience intersecting moments, too. Maybe today I left the day feeling comforted that "R" and his colleagues were impacted by Mike's life on their own...Maybe I felt comforted when I told "R" how much he meant to Mike and I during this scary time and what a gift he has to make people feel secure and comforted. Either way, lives intersect and a bad start to a morning has no say in whether that intersection should occur or not. And when it does...You are ready or not.