She came to me

There are certain things that Rene does where I know she knows I am her person. She does fine with our ritual of her going into the bedroom when I go to work; but when I just leave her in the condo when I have to take out the trash or go the parking garage for something I hear her whine for me. When we meet people on the street and she isn't sure about them she walks very close to me. Even though she has growled when I may have startled her, she now lays on the couch next to me with her face in my lap and her arms splayed about me.

Today, my ultimate fear came true, and now I know Rene knows I am her person.

My ultimate fear is that Rene will get off her leash and be so freaked out she will just run away. She is skittish around fast movement, loud noises, and panicked feelings that she loses all sense of safety and goes into flight mode. Well, my ultimate fear came true and in the parking lot of the vet's office today Rene's leash unclipped from her harness and she was a free agent. She could have done a number of things with this but she decided to come to me. Only because I decided I needed to be calm, cool and collected.

She has not been digesting her food well since I adopted her and we needed our first trip to the vet anyway so today was the day. At her appointment I was reassured that her weight is fine (not as skinny as my neighbor thinks she is), that what I am doing at home is all right, that she really does like people (kissing the vet as she sat on the floor with her) and results from her stool sample on Monday or Tuesday would let me know if she had any parasites or bacteria. I felt relieved all was looking as good as to be expected with an adopted Grey and we got into the parking lot. The office is on a busy corner-Colorado Blvd and Louisiana-and I was opening the door to get her ready to get into the car and her leash snapped off her harness.

She sensed her new found freedom. She heard the leash fall to the ground and no longer felt the pull that attached me to her. My voice raised and got rapid, "Rene, come here" and she started to back away. She started to make her way beyond the parking lot and I asserted, "Rene, Come." She stopped, looked at me, and I said it again. She started to come towards me, with a little trepidation, and I kept saying "Rene, Come." She did, I grabbed her harness, and we just stood there. My heart was beating so fast and she knew she was gotten but hopefully there was a sense of security in that. I put her into the car, sat in the front seat, and felt what almost having a heart attack feels like.

But she came to me. She is now home with me, curled up on the couch with a blanket over her, snoozing. She came to me, and now I have to add a second leash to her harness to make sure she never gets away again.

Now I am beginning to understand better the parents who put the locks on their teenaged kids' doors so they can't sneak out into the abyss of night. Or, better understand the parents who don't put those locks on the doors because they know their kids know where home is and who home is.

Rene knows who home is. Me.