Weekend

I had a very enjoyable weekend. I had two dates I was greatly anticipating. The first was with Meg. We went to the Art Museum-there were no special exhibits and it was a free day, so that added to the freedom of just wandering around the museum. We talked, had a coffee, and just enjoyed the day. We ate a delightful lunch at Whole Foods in the sun. It was perfect. Meg is perfect. I can't explain my friendship with her...she lifts my spirit and soul. Later I met my family for dinner-pizza.

The second date was today with Max and his parents. We went to the Toy Story 1 and 2 double feature in 3D. It was fabulous! The movies in 3D were even better than without 3D. When we were leaving, Max asked me when the next time he and I can do something together. He is such a sweet kid. I ended the weekend with another dinner with my folks.

Sunday nights are hard. I drove my brother home tonight and on the way home the melancholy set in. It is dark. The house will be quiet. No one to watch an episode of The Entourage with before the week begins. No one to come home to and debrief about the weekend (Sunday nights Mike and I would list all the fun things we did that weekend so we wouldn't forget). So, I made myself busy. I took the dogs for a walk. I went through any bills that came this week. I emailed a few students to get a head start on the week. I had the TV going, the lights on in the house. 9 news can be very comforting I am finding out.

I know that I am heading into week 6 since Mike passed. And you know what? No matter how people want me to be all better I won't be for a long time. The life I knew is different now. I don't have a husband anymore. I don't have the life I had (consider the life I had before Mike's sickness). I have to face a number of upcoming events...Thanksgiving (we hosted our first last year), Christmas (opening presents in our PJ's drinking Kahlua and Coffee), Mike's birthday (a subtle card and a special dinner) and our anniversary (dinner or a play). Let me get through these things first without him and then see where I am at. In the meantime, just love me. Know that I am hurting and maybe you don't know what to say or do...just know grief is a long process. Maybe even a lifetime. As my beautiful Meg put it...the dark spot in my heart will always be there, no matter where I am in my life.