Loss is loss

One of the things I see as positive after losing Mike is understanding another person's loss. Of course I had lost loved ones before, but a profound loss such as of a spouse, parent, close friend, sibling or child allows for a certain kind of empathy that wasn't necessarily there before. I know what it feels like to have good days and bad. I know what it is like to have days I don't remember what happened, or days where laying in bed was the best alternative. I know what it feels like to have to get on, go to work or to go to the grocery store, immersed in people who don't maybe know of the loss, to feel that alone in a crowded room.

This weekend, I learned of the losses two friends have had to endure. One is very recent, the other years ago but never resolved. I know what those feelings are like, from the regrets to the hopes to the memories...and that deep gaping hole knowing that it won't be filled physically by that person again.

I don't think those of us who have lost loved ones will ever be the same as we were before. A profound change happens, and while we can get on and move on with life, that hole is still there. I know I try to patch it up with all different thoughts-that the lost loved one exists in another energy field, or that the loved one is here in spirit. Of course, these are comforting thoughts, but they really don't patch or mend that hole. And I think it is okay for that hole to be there, knowing that it isn't big enough or deep enough to fall into.

Thinking of and loving all my friends and family who endured loss and the bravery it takes to face it.