Creating Sacred Spaces and Other Stuff to do in Spare Time

I have suddenly felt like time and I are in phases of negotiation. "I promise to fit in a walk with the dogs if you let me go to book club" or "I promise I will clean the house this weekend if during the week you let me have some freedom." I am constantly wrestling with filling my time-making priorities, who to see, what to do, and how to include some "me" time in the equation. A few weeks ago I got the monthly newsletter from Denver Hospice and two things caught my attention. The first was the "Young Widows/Widowers Support Group". I decided to join. Meetings are Wednesdays for 4 weeks. Last Wednesday was the first meeting, but due to weather only three of us showed up and so I think we are starting from scratch this week.

Tonight, Denver Hospice held a grief education program about how to create a sacred space for a loved one that died. I decided to go, since I am grappling with making changes in my house and what parts of Mike I may lose in the process. This was such a great session. I learned that sacred space can be anything, and the facilitators talked about inward and outward sacred spaces. They showed pictures of different kinds of ideas and they had physical examples. Two things stood out: One was a box where I can put notes of what I would want to tell Mike..."such and such happened today" or "I thought of you while I saw..." I can personalize the box and put a slit in the top, where I can slide in such notes. The other was a fabric piece. I can take pieces from his t-shirts, ties, and other things of his and "quilt" them together into a fabric piece. I loved these ideas. I think where I might start is making a sacred space on the shelves in the office. They are pretty much as Mike left them, so I think I might put things that were special to him in that space. Then, if I want to move something in the rest of the house to make room for other things, I know I have a space to put stuff for MIke. It was a very cool session and am in love with the hospice movement...those involved really know how to care for the grieving.

I also got a really cool idea from a Regis student finishing her senior project. I won't go into detail about her project, but she herself was in transition years ago from divorce, raising two kids and losing a great job. She started a "me" project notebook...which took years to develop and cultivate but now she is following her passion. So...I started my own "transition" notebook. I have 8 sections, which include grief/healing, relationships, career opportunities, etc. This is just a place to put all my thoughts, feelings, educational material, etc. that marks this transition in my life. I am excited to develop this concept more, and get involved with this person and her volunteer work.

I am feeling very hopeful. I am feeling like I am making strides forward that will help me see what opportunities lie ahead of me. I am feeling that, someday, I don't know when, this goal will be acheived:
"The work of mourning has been completed when the person no longer appears as an absence in a barren world but has come to reside securely within one's heart," (Cantor, 1978).