No more job talk

I have been very successful in keeping in touch with past co-workers. These are two ladies from my TLC Days. We had drinks a few weeks ago. Luckily, conversation about TLC is beginning to wane and we now talk more about our lives. Next to me is CL, she is off to be married in September. Finally. She loves travel and scuba diving. And CK is next to her. She and her husband own horses that they take to the stock show. See? We are all really more interesting than just our jobs!

Thanks Mom and Dad!

After my last post, I got two Kudos emails. One from Mom and one from Dad. Thanks, guys. That means more than coming from my boss!

Love you.

Kudos is just a candy bar

I am trying not to be disappointed.

Every term, there is a term leader for enrollments. I have never been a term leader-not for lack of trying, but my team mates just seem to beat me. For this term, I am the term leader! Most of my team-mates have half or so of what I have for enrollment.

So, why would I be disappointed? Well, typically in team meetings the term leaders are mentioned. In our team meeting today...nada. No "Way to go Melanie!" or anything like that. Nope.

So, I just have to know that I am my own term leader. I am being successful for me and not anyone else. Although, even given just a candy bar would be nice.

A week of friends

This week has been a week of connecting with friends. Monday night I had dinner with S. She is a somewhat "new" friend and we have enough in common that we really enjoy each other's company. There is something very special about S. Maybe it is the light that shines in her eyes, maybe it is that she remembers every detail from our last conversation, maybe it is her sincerity...whatever it is, I am very happy we have this new found friendship.

I got to chat with MP last night for a while. It had been a bit since we connected. What a good soul. I just feel so darn lucky that I have had her in my life for 16 plus years. She continues to be a role model to me.

I had a great lunch with LB today. It had been awhile since I have seen her, she is off this summer and so we met at Sabor. I love that place. They open all the windows and it feels like you are in a restaurant in Latin America. The only downside is that it is so close to work that all work people go there. So, I couldn't do much lamenting about work. To our benefit...we got to talk about other things in life! I love LB. She is just such a down to earth good person. She keeps me in check. After complaining about weight gain during lunch (stuffing myself with a burrito and chips) we walked by a gluten free bakery. I bought chocolate chip cookies for me and my co-workers. She said, "Mel, what did we just talk about at lunch?" LB, I will be better tomorrow. I promise. Thanks for shining your brightness on me today!

This is what I love about summer. I want to be out, seeing friends, or on my back porch chatting on the phone. Thanks, ladies, for making this such a good week!

Can't live without...

...Pearl Street farmers market...morning jogs...walks after work...a clean car...Mike...Harry Potter...time spent with good friends...Robert's daily IMing...Lunch with Dad...Tea with Mom...vacations...hiking...baseball in the summer...football in the winter...Stan's smile...Chester's kisses...2 Fisted pizza...books...Coldplay...art festivals...Netflix...local coffee shops...3 day weekends...flip-flops...Sunflower's bulk foods...Coppola's red table wine...air conditioning...naps...Old Navy t-shirts...gardening...summer...

Weekends...can they be everyday?

I haven't written in a couple of days. I think it is because when the weekend comes I have a hard time sitting in front of the computer for much time. So, I let the weekend go by without really documenting what happens. I must say I love weekends. Mondays get harder and harder for me to face. It doesn't even really matter what I do on the weekend, I just like being on my own time clock.

This weekend was very relaxing. Saturday we did some housework. We sat in the air conditioning and watched baseball. We napped. We went downtown to dinner and then to the Larimer Arts Festival. Somehow, both of us got pretty allergic and had to leave the festival early, but we got home and called it an early night.

Yesterday, we went on a 5 mile hike near Estes Park. We have this awesome book called Canine Colorado, and it lists all the hikes in Colorado that are dog friendly. It tells whether it is an off leash or on leash trail. This one was off leash. The boys had a blast! They are so good off leash-they listen, they don't go too far, and if they are up ahead they always wait for us. This hike was a bit of a challenge. It was downhill for the beginning, so coming back was almost all uphill. Both of us were winded. We stopped along the way quite a bit. The boys had exerted all of their energy going down the trail, so coming back up there were both tired. Stan kept laying down along the way. When we were done, we drove to Estes, had lunch, then came home and napped. We had the most delicious dinner with Mike's family (Sue and Chris were in town) and then came home.

Today...well, I am thinking about what a fun weekend we had. I am trying to call my students, get ready for a meeting, etc. But, I am really thinking...when will it be the weekend again?

Life and Love

Mike and I have been married for 7 years. Each year, while some people love their spouses less, I love mine more and more. So many people speak of the "7 year itch", and I feel like I can't wait to be married longer because it just gets better and better. I love Mike so much. I can't even put it into words. I still get excited to see him after work; I still enjoy spending evenings and weekends with him. He is good to me in ways I can't even explain. Over the years we have had to morph, change, develop, reroute, rework, rewire and hardwire our relationship, from our early days in Glenwood Springs, to what is now our life with the boys. I love where we are now in our relationship, and I anticipate the future with excitement. Here's to you, hon. Thanks for being so good to me.

LSD...or Dilating Drops?

I went to the eye doctor this morning. Okay, mom, don't get mad...I haven't had a dilated appointment in a while. I went to a new eye doctor, Dr. Cross, up here by Regis. He was a very nice man, and I remember his practice was one that TLC folks revered. So, I was in good hands. I do not have glaucoma. My prescription hasn't changed. Then came the dilation. I wandered around for about 15 minutes, looking at new glasses, while my pupils dilated. Holy smokes! I couldn't see anything close up and the world became so much brighter (I hope I bought the right pair of glasses, and I hope I didn't spend $1000 for them. Hmmm...) I went back into the exam room, and literally my eyes looked as though I was on LSD. He said there was no Iris left they were so dilated! My retina's checked out very healthy. So, I am in good shape. I made my way to work, and wore my sunglasses all morning. I couldn't see the computer, so I hope all the emails I have sent are kosher. So, if you see me wandering around inside with sunnies on, don't be concerned.

Camping

Mosquito bites lurking in random places. Still groggy. Dirt in my nails, still, after showering. These are all signs that I went camping this past weekend. Mike and I took the boys for their first camping trip. How cute, you must think. How peaceful. How serene. Well, I hate to say it, but none of these things actually describe our experience! But, no matter how tired I was the next day, no matter how cranky I got, or how much mosquitoes enjoy my sweet blood, I want to go again and again. We drove up Friday afternoon to Homestake Creek, which is outside of Minturn going toward Leadville. We had discovered that spot a few years back, and thought it would be great for our first family camping trip. We got there around 5:30pm and there were hardly any places left to make camp. We found a spot that was not ideal, with a huge family camping behind the trees in front of us and a lone man with a tricked out jeep to the side of us. We decided it would be fine, since it was so late in the afternoon trying to find another place to camp would be hard. We set up camp and went for a walk. We took the boys off leash and they went romping through trees, over rocks, and in the creek. This was one highlight of the night. We got back to camp and started to make dinner. The lone man came over and started talking to us-he was meeting a bunch of friends to go 4X4-ing over the Holy Cross City jeep trail. We made dinner-soup, bread and cheese (it sounded good when we planned it...)-and then had a hot chocolate before going to bed (another highlight of the evening). Now, let me put this in context. We had Chester and Stanley attached to 20 feet of thin rope that was secured to the truck bed. They got all tangled, inside and out so the night consisted of constantly untangling them. Earlier in the evening we had them tied to a stake in the ground, but when the family camping across from us and their dog walked by, that stake was history. We also took too much stuff. I felt like I was constantly digging through our plastic bin for cups, food, spoons, etc. When we did sit down to eat, I felt like the only words coming out of my mouth were, "Sit, no, stay" because the dogs really wanted to eat our dinner. And the dinner...it sounded good when I packed it, but that night it was pretty anticlimactic. Canned soup, bread, and cheese...people in jail eat better than that. Our hot chocolate was weak, we split a packet between ourselves and it wasn't very good. So, I was actually looking forward to going to bed. That was when it all took a turn for the worse. The buddies of the guy next to us finally showed up, it was about 10pm. They had a huge bonfire that we could see through our tent walls. Someone slept with his engine on all night. We were right off the road, so car headlights kept shining through our tent. The boys were still a little damp from their romp in the water earlier, and Stanley was a dirty mess. The night got cold, and the boys were both freezing. Chester was shivering so badly that at one point Mike had Chester's head in the sleeping bag. I remember at one point waking up (I woke up almost every hour) and thinking it was almost time to get up. I looked at my watch and said, "It's only 3:30!" Mike responded, "better than it only being midnight." So true. Around that time, the boys kept wanting to leave tent, so at one point I was laying there clutching onto Stan's leash so he couldn't. 5am rolled around and we got up. We made coffee from these coffee singles that were years old and tasted that old. Although we did bring ingredients to make pancakes, we decided to pack it all up and head to Vail, where McDonald's was calling our names for a hot breakfast and good cup of coffee. I think we left the campsite at 6:30am. We were all exhausted after our long night, but spent the morning in Vail and Leadville. When we got home, we crashed for about 2 hours. Why would I want to subject myself to that again? In all the frustration, it was good to get away. I think the next time we will find a place that is more secluded. The next time I think we will pack it all in backpacks. We will get the boys their own sleeping bags. I don't want to give up. Did I mention we have a 5 day camping trip planned for July? That ought to be interesting!

Vision Board Complete!

I made my Vision Board this morning. Since I don't know what my career vision is just yet, I put things up on there that will propel me toward thinking about it. I have a postcard from a friend a while ago that says "Forward in all Directions". I have some quotes. My favorite is from Harold MacMillan: "To be alive at all involves some risk." I have an adaptation from a scripture reading that I read at my Grandma's funeral: "A valiant woman is far more precious than jewels. She brings others good and not evil all the days of her life. She opens her hands to the poor, and reaches out to the needy. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates." I loved this reading-it described my grandmother perfectly, and to be like her would be an honorable goal. And, finally, I have pictures of my loved ones, along with the boys of course!
I like the idea of a vision board. When I look at it, I feel good. A great addition to my day!

Vision Board

Quick update on Dracula...the blood was drawn successfully this morning with no bruises to show for it.

Onto more philosophical things...I learned about The Vision Board during a workshop on The Secret. The Vision Board is a board where you tack up the things that you want to attract into your life and you keep it in a central location where you can see it everyday. My co-worker is making one for her office space and I am thinking about doing the same. On the board, I would have the word cancer with an "X" through it, I would have a picture of a mountain vista, I would have pictures of my friends and family, I would post words like "love" and "happiness". I am having trouble though picturing what I would put up there for career. I am in that phase of trying to figure out which direction I can go. I am hoping for being considered as an Advisor in the SPS program, but Regis is going through changes and the nature of this position may change as well. I don't necessarily see myself in my current position for the rest of my life, and I don't know if I want to be stuck in sales or expand into other areas. My goal before was to become an advisor and teach; with the new re-structuring though I don't know if this is realistic. So, I need to put on my vision board all the opportunities I want to explore and then look into each one. The Vision Board is a good way to keep goals in the forefront of everyday life. I had a classmate who had a mission statement for himself. It combined his work and personal goals, into some very prolific statement. Perhaps at the top of my Vision Board there could be my mission statement. Hmmmm. Better get working on that!

Needles

This morning I had the life insurance exam guy come. We got life insurance on Mike when we were first married, and now we are getting it on me. Last week, I had to tell a stranger over the phone about my medical history. Today, a young man toting a little black bag came by. He got my height, weight (yikes!), asked me personal questions, and got "fluid" samples. Then came the blood sample. I am usually really good about needles; I figure taking blood should be a basic skill of anyone in the health care industry. So, in goes the first needle. Oops, faulty equipment-the suction didn't work. Other arm. In goes the second needle. Huh, this is strange. This has never happened before....(nothing was coming out). Let's try the other arm again. In goes the 3rd needle. Hmmm....what is happening? Nothing is there. This is so weird. I yelped in pain on the third try-unless Dracula visited me in the night, I think I have plenty of blood swirling around my veins. I suggested that we let this arm heal and he come back another time. Nice guy, very apologetic, but I dread his visit again.

I must take this moment to tell my husband how much I admire him. Mike, I am in awe about how calm and strong you are when you are being poked by needles. You never let the pokes get to you, and even if it hurts you take it in stride. Not only that, but your needles are necessary to combat cancer, so the fact that you calmly get through the needles knowing why you have to have them is amazing. I truly want you to know that I love you and wish I could be as strong as you are. I will try, okay? I will open the door to this guy's next visit, put on smile on, and get through another blood drawn attempt.

A Hike, a Hot Shower, and a Cold Beer

Yesterday we went on our favorite hike to Lost Lake. This hike is outside of Eldora, and Lost Lake is not quite in the Indian Peaks Wilderness. The beginning is a bit rough, a little rocky, and has an incline, but the rest is pretty manageable. There is a beautiful creek running alongside most of the trail, which looks at some point like a waterfall. I would stop at certain places to look at the rushing waters and I felt like I was looking at a John Fielder picture or something, it was just gorgeous as water rushed down and sprayed itself along the rocks. Lost Lake is the destination, although there are a ton of other hikes to other lakes as well.

Dogs can be off leash. I was so nervous at the beginning. Chester has a sense of adventure, and I just pictured him getting into the creek and swept away, never to be heard from again. Fortunately, dogs are smart and Chester instinctively knew not to go in. I have also had a fear that if they run off they will get taken by a bear or mountain lion. Well, they didn't run off too far and there were no bears or mountain lions so that fear wasn't valid either. I had to relax and just let the boys run. We got to the lake and I had forgotten how picturesque this was. There are mountains around the lake, and in July the wildflowers pop off the sides of the hills. The boys swam, Mike and I hiked. It was a perfect day. On the way back, the boys were so tired. Stan limped, Chester rarely got excited when we came across people (unless they had food in their pockets). Chester would go off on his own, and Stan would try to herd Chester back. Mike and would keep walking and Stan would stay put, looking to where Chester was and back at us, as if to say, "Hey guys! Wait for Chester!" We made it home, and all four of us napped. After a hike, there is nothing like a nap in cold sheets with the ceiling fan going. We showered, grilled some steak, and I had a nice cold beer. Summer....gotta love it. I know that this is just the beginning.

To Be or Not to Be

This weekend came and went faster than I wanted it to. Saturday I was feeling like I had to "do" too much-of course what I had to do were things I inflicted upon myself. Water the grass. Clean the kitchen. Do laundry. Get ready for the next day's hike. Of course, I could let my grass die, let dishes pile up in the kitchen, and make no plan for the next day's hike and regret it later. Thus, my desire for a clean home, a nice yard, and foresight makes me have to "do" a lot of tasks. I said to Mike, "Can't we just 'Be'?" His response: "Huh? Yeah, you "Be" and I will go watch the baseball game." So, I "Was". I chatted with MP for a while. I watered the lawn and read my book. Then I found myself going inside to bug Mike. "What are you doing? Are the Rockies winning?" Ahhhh....to "be" or not to "be"...what does that even mean? Does it mean that I do my tasks as the Buddha would, happy to be in the here and now? Does it mean that I take an hour every day to sit and be still, focusing on my breath and replenishing my soul? Does it mean that I spend time reading? Walking? Okay, I don't really have a definition. I think what "Be" means for me is to enjoy the present. Even in my tasks. I am here, on the planet, a living and breathing creature. Mike is here, my family and friends are here. Why think about what I "should" be or "shouldn't" be doing and just do it? I think the biggest lesson I have learned in this life is to enjoy the here and now. Sure, I get restless. Sure, I task myself too much. Sure, I would rather have fun than work. But the point is...I can "be" as I work, as I do dishes, as I water the lawn. So, I choose "to be" all the time. Or, at least until I get restless again.

Wedding Bells

I am in my first wedding this summer. The phrase, "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," never really described me. It is more like, "never a bridesmaid, but truly a bride." It isn't that I have no friends, and that is why I was never in a wedding. My friends who got married out of college either had too many friends so they limited their wedding party; got married in another country; nixed the whole traditional big wedding and had small gatherings; or hadn't met the man of their dreams yet. And now, I have a wide range of friends, from my school buddies many years ago to young single women who I work with now to older women with whom I click. Thus, not a lot of people are getting married these days.

My friend who is getting married is one that I met in preschool. She is marrying a man who she dated right after high school and they rekindled their romance a few years ago after a reunion of sorts. It is a true love story. At 17 or 18, no one knew who they were and so the relationship could not have lasted. We all needed to figure ourselves out before we could find the love of our lives. When they met again, both knew themselves well and were ready to be in love, and that is what happened. So, if I am going to be in one wedding in my life, I am excited to know that this wedding also has a pretty interesting story behind it. And, she is my friend for, like 26 years, so I am thrilled to be a part of this. Cheers to you, J and J. I hope I can make you proud as I don my dress, throw your parties, and support you throughout your marriage, which hopefully will last as long as our friendship has.

Wind

I have to say it. I hate the wind. It is useless-it doesn't supply moisture like rain; doesn't rejuvenate the earth like snow; and it doesn't let things spring to life the sunshine. What does wind do? It makes small particles land in my eye, it messes up my hair, it can be very cold, makes tree branches fall, and it generally makes me not want to be outside. Yuck. Can anyone tell me the benefits of wind please? According to Wikipedia: "It was these winds that early mariners relied upon to propel their ships from Europe to North and South America." Great. Wind allowed for the colonization of the Amercias thus leading to the genocide or assimilation of American Indians. Another case to dislike the wind. Sigh. The bright side is that the weekend is supposed to be 80 degrees sans wind. Looking forward to that!

Wish I could Eat, Pray, Love...

MP's book club book pick is Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I bought it for the plane ride to California and from what I have read it is fantastic. It is one woman's journey to self discovery, love and spirituality. She goes to 3 different countries for this self discovery: Italy, India and Indonesia and spends about a year on this journey.

I am fascinated by people that can do this type of thing. She is writer so I think that helps-she got a book deal in the end to tell of her travels; she also seemed to have money, which helps as well. However, I think the one thing she has for sure is guts. To leave all that she knew in the States and just travel, not knowing many people, to "find" herself takes a lot of guts. Sometimes I wish I could do this (with Mike of course!). I would love for the both of us to quit our jobs, pack it all up, and have no obligations but to discover new things about life and about ourselves. I think this could open up to creative ways of living. But the one thing I know I lack is the guts. I lack the guts to leave my home, my puppies, my secure job, my friends and family behind and embark on such a journey. But that is where I am at this point...who knows, maybe as time goes on this will become a feasible opportunity!

Birthday Wishes

I have a friend who is celebrating a milestone birthday today. For her protection I won't say which one...Happy Birthday, LB. I want you to know that you are a true joy to have in my life. I am glad Janine and I decided to hire you, because if we didn't I wouldn't know you. How sad would that be? You have been a good friend, a fun Race partner, and you and L are a perfect double date. Know that you shine and sparkle and bring love and happiness to everyone who knows you. Cheers to many more birthday celebrations.

Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, A Pirates Life for Me!

I am sitting in the quiet of my home having wrapped up a few days at Disneyland. For those of you who have not gone in a while, quiet is what you will seek after a few days at the Magic Kingdom. I even looked forward to the plane ride home (which is very unusual for me) because I could put on my IPOD, tune out the world, and sleep.

I can't describe the way a trip to Disneyland makes me feel. Let me get past all the disclaimers. Yes, it is fun on steroids. Yes, they take and take your money. Yes, it is the synthesis of corporate America and childhood fantasy. Not to sound harsh, but I could really care less about all that. Disneyland is THE place where fun is to be had. And after all Mike and I have been through, we are looking for as many ways to have fun as possible. Yes, we could travel to Europe. Yes, we could travel to New York City. And we will. But Disneyland is what we needed to celebrate hope, celebrate Mike, and celebrate the fact that we both can rock Disneyland with little misery and still love each other afterwards.

The wild card in the equation was Max Schultz, Jay and Jess' little guy. Here are my recommendations: 1. Go to Disneyland without a kid so you can be purely selfish; 2. Go to Disneyland with a kid so you can really act silly. Max was awesome. At almost 4, he defended Buzz Lightyear, got shrunk by a crazy scientist, was spooked by the happenings at the Haunted Mansion, met all of his Disney friends, saw pirates and Mr. Bones, and at as many chicken tenders as possible. What more can anyone ask for.

Am I tired? You bet! Do I have "Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirate's life for me" stuck in my head? You bet. But did I have the time of my life? Absolutely. My next question is...when can I go again?