I want one

I was at my neighbor's parents' house tonight. They are art and antique collectors. On the coffee table was a small box with a little trapeze artist in it. I would move the box around and the trapeze artist would do his thing. It is a sand toy from the late 1800's and...I want one. If anyone finds one please, please let me know! I did some internet searching and did not come up with one for sale...just yet...

Christmas

It all started yesterday morning when a classmate brought her dog, Tanner, to stay with the boys and me for a week while she is out of town. He is a 2 year old, 90 lb Golden Retriever who has the perfect temperment to stay in a small house with a somewhat neurotic pet owner and two elderly Labradors. His name is Tanner and he settled right in. Oh, and Chester settled right into Tanner's bed.

Last night, I had dinner at my folks' house along with my brother. We went to 8pm mass at Holy Ghost downtown and it was a beautiful service. This morning, I went over to their house again for breakfast and presents. My most exciting present? A Bissell pet hair vacuum! I can't wait to try it out. It even has an attachment for grooming the dogs, which is awesome!

I took a break and attempted to take the dogs for a walk. It didn't work out too well. Tanner has a lot of energy where Ches and Stan like to walk and sniff. And once someone poops all craziness happens, trying to hold on to three leashes and clean up the poop. We will need to get that figured out this week.

I went back for a lovely night and dinner. Robert awed us with magic tricks and we played a game. All in all it was a wonderful Christmas 2011!

XO Mel

An oldy but goody by Coldplay...

...And a new one, too!

Wow

3 books of stamps and 3 boxes of Christmas cards...makes me realize how many people are in my life that light it up with happiness!

Happiness is...

Break!

I have been on my break from school and it has been delightful. Aside from my internship, my days are full of nothin'. Today, I watched a holiday movie. Last night I did the same. Not to say I have been bored...I went to The Lion King with the family the other day and it was delightful. We are going to another Christmas show this weekend. I have attended a few holiday parties with a few other fesitvities coming up. But my days...my days are blissful. I find myself tinkering around in my jimmy-jams until noon; I eat what and when I like; and finished a book in a week. Ahh...break.

Thursday, Liz and I are staying the night in a posh hotel in Boulder. I wanted to get away but didn't have it in me to leave the comforts of home, so we are going to spend one night away shopping, dining, and sleeping in. I plan to take two weeks off my internship around Christmas so I may take another overnight someplace nearby just to feel like I am out of town.

I am somewhat dreading the next two terms. They are back to back with only a week off in between. I will need to fit in lots of jimmy-jam and movie time during those 20 weeks!

Still

Dad and I went to the Clyfford Still museum today. I have to say, it was one of the most pleasant museum experiences I have ever had. It is a spacious building and it all tells a great story. The art evolves based on the places where the artist lived as well as the time period.

I couldn't help notice how I felt in that museum...the quiet hush of museum-goers, the statement the art makes without saying a word. I remembered just how much I love art because of that. I juxtapose that with the experience I have at my internship every day. The kids yelling, the women always needing this or that, the clients not always being on their best behavior. I rememembered how I need the stillness of a museum to calm my heart and soul, and make me ready to face another day of noise.

A different kind of Thanksgiving

This year, we went to Maggiano's for Thanksgiving dinner and played Denver Monopoly after. What a treat to not worry about dirty dishes, food prep for days, and feeling like a prisoner in the kitchen. Was it a dinner like Mom would make? Not exactly. But, was it fun and interesting to do something different and more relaxing? Definitely.

Grateful

A little bit of gratitude...my friends and family who love me despite my faults, the privilege to start a new career path by attending school, a roof over my head and food in the fridge, physical health to walk the 4 mile Turkey Trot, eyesight so I can read, the unconditional love of two furry friends, and a resolve to make dreams come true...

I am so grateful this Thanksgiving day and I wish you and yours a day full of blessings.

XO Mel

A perfect end to a new beginning

Classes are done. Finals are complete. The first quarter of Grad school is behind me. I reflect on my first Grad school experience and it was nothing like this. One class at a time, 8 weeks each, one paper due every week...totally different than "real" Grad school. The kind where you stay up until one in the morning...or pull all nighters. The kind where your brain hurts at the end of the day. The kind where you are in the trenches with people...together...only to come out in the end at least some what whole again.

This weekend is a perfect celebration. I had brunch with my internship colleagues at Devil's Food...a place that doesn't mess around when it comes to brunch. I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn with friends to celebrate a birthday. And next I am off to watch Sting in concert. All of this packed into one day but it is the perfect end to my new beginning.

Social work school is hard. The work is hard, the concepts change my life, the internship tears at my heart. But in the end...it is worth it. I know it will be. Having that MSW behind my name will be a hard earned qualification.

The Art of Non-judgment

My first quarter in social work school wraps up in two weeks. I don't even want to think about what finals are going to look like...picture a very messy house, with two dogs looking pathetically about the room, all the while I am running around trying to write papers, answer essay questions and prepare presentations. As this is happening I am eating already prepared foods and drinking more coffee than water. The mantra during this time is November 22nd...it will be done.

What have I taken away from this quarter of social work school? That non-judgement is at the heart of every good social worker. As I have developed this understanding over the quarter, I become more interested as to why we as humans feel so compelled to judge other people? Social work has taught me some basic principle of being human: Social justice, self-determination, do least harm, dignity and worth of persons...These principles go against the human desire to judge one another. And why would person X think they know what is best for person Y? That is becoming more baffling to me every day. We are, after all, the experts on our own lives. I know what works in my life and what doesn't. Sure, maybe I make a mistake and do what doesn't work sometimes, but I am my own life coach.

We hide behind the notion that we interfere in others' lives because we "care too much" or "don't want to see another hurt" or "we know what is best." But the reality is we are all scared. Fear is what motivates us often times; not love. Because if love were the motivator the words "it should happen this way" wouldn't exist.

I am looking forward to what I learn in my second quarter...

(Sigh) The last farmer's market of the season

For the past few years (I don't know how many) the only Halloween tradition I abide by is the last farmer's market on Old South Pearl Street. Meg, the kids, and sometimes V accompany me with a Stella's coffee in hand on this day. The kids are in their Halloween costumes, and go up to each vendor who has containers full of candy. It is the one farmer's market where I don't feel pressure to buy anything...It is all for the kids. As we walk the street, we see other children wearing their costumes. Oh, and dogs, too. Today we saw a dog dressed as a sheep, and a dog dressed in a Broncos jersey to match his owner.

I love this day. This routine. I don't care how long we stay. I don't care if one of the kids isn't at their best. I just love...A) Being with Meg and the kids (and V) and B) Being at the last glimpse of Summer/Harvest time/Community time...whatever it is called. It is a ritual where, if I have anything to do with it, these kids will be teenagers; reluctantly wearing their costumes (Darth Vader for Luca? Princess Leia for Mia? Let's see how much I can influence them...) and probably carrying coffees of their own. Mia will want to look at the clothing racks along the sidewalks; Luca will want to eat whatever is in sight and will be texting all his friends.

I like to think of this ritual as something I can be a part of that is bigger than me. I know Meg (V) and the kids go home to their own daily rituals. I don't have those. I wish I did. So, I find ways I can nestle myself into my friends' 'tribes'. I think my friends who have kids think their kids are a burden to me for some reason...but they are not. They fill a space for me...a space I don't have but a much needed space all the same. Those walks where you and I meet and you push the stroller along are a treasure to me. Those dates at the mall where your 3 year old runs all around the play area are golden. Those times I come to dinner and make paper airplanes so your precious 8 year old can outdo me are priceless. Those nights at your house over a glass of wine or a movie as the kids slumber...I say to my friends: Those are the moments that I treasure.

It is funny how a farmer's market can have all sorts of meanings attached to it. Let's make it a quick winter so we can be there again, strolling along the stalls and feeling like this day is a part of something bigger.

A place called home

Among the many things on my plate, I am tasked with visiting a site that catered to a population with whom I am uncomfortable. This task is for my Multicultural class, a class in which I love and has helped me look at life and people in a different way. The population I have chosen is homeless youth. I am not uncomfortable with the homeless, but youth...let's just say I don't have them on my radar for my social work career.

I ended up getting connected with Urban Peak, a homeless shelter for youth. Maybe I should say re-connected...I volunteered there in high school making lunch for the youth. I wound up making breakfast this morning and it was an interesting experience. Being in the shelter, there are all those shelter smells...body order, unwashed hair, the smell of people being in a small space together, sharing the most intimate of moments...sleeping. That time we all have to ourselves, to think and dream and just...be. When I got to the kitchen, I was told there were leftover eggs, potatoes and pancakes I could heat up, which I did. The smell of this food lingered with me all day. It wasn't a really pleasant smell, actually. Day old food heated up just isn't the same as a freshly cooked breakfast, with bacon and eggs in the pan and spices that make for a savory meal. This meal smelled stale, sad, broken...much like the lives of the youth I served.

At the SafeHouse, things are different. Food is fresher; the women cook lively meals full of spices and each meal is cooked fresh; there are no leftover meals. At the youth shelter, I felt like what the teens were offered was an afterthought. I am not saying this to demean what those at the shelter do everyday, but the comfort of cooking is probably not their speciality. I started thinking of the comfort of home. Last night, I walked into my parents house and dinner smelled delightful. The table was set nicely, and I knew I was walking into a comfort that I have as a privileged person. These youth I saw today were left with the smell of sleep, day old eggs and hopelessness.

I wish for everyone that scent can be a beacon of hope. Those Glade candles that smell of apple pie; the Anthropologie candle I light every night that smells of sweetness and comfort. I wish for these privileged smells to be a part of everyone's life, knowing that they are the scents of home.

3 down, 2 to go

I am breathing a sigh of relief, sipping a Coors light and under the covers with the laptop, finally ready to actually post something real. I had a huge realization lately that I need to stop being so intense about grad school and let it flow. My teachers keep talking about self-care and after 6 weeks of classes I am finally going to listen to them.

I just finished 3 midterm assignments today-a presentation, a test and a paper. I haven't taken a test in something like 13 years so I was a bit rusty on my study skills, but I think I did alright. I have another paper due next week as well as another presentation and then midterms are over, with finals just around the corner.

But you know what? I have decided to tell myself, "it is what it is." Maybe I don't get all A's this term. Maybe I don't present as well as I used to. Maybe my APA citations in my paper aren't always buttoned up. Maybe I choose not to participate in class on a day I feel more introverted. I went into this program with this notion that I was going to be a top-notch, stellar student. But that kind of perspective hasn't led me to enjoy life along with all the craziness of grad school. Who says I have to choose? So, I decided to start that self-care my teachers talk about. I went for a walk with Liz on Monday morning. I started reading a great fiction book, something I haven't done in a while. I make time to watch my favorite TV shows, and I give myself a day off every week. These are just baby steps toward enjoying a balance-of being a student along with everything else life has to offer. Besides, no one wants to pour their hearts out to a stressed out social worker.

This weekend I will have some of that balance. Paper writing, yes. Saturday, though, will be my day off. I am getting my hair cut and colored which is always a treat. I get to finally see the Schultz family to catch up over dinner. Maybe I will treat myself to a coffee at Tattered Cover and a stroll amongst the bookshelves. Or a nap. Or a walk at the park. I can't let these little things in life become commodities...

Remind me of this post during finals, will you?

5 weeks in

This week I am celebrating my halfway point through my first quarter of the social work program at DU. Midterms are this week and next, which means I need to focus on studying for a test, writing a literature review, and preparing for a presentation. My brain is spinning but tonight I am setting aside time for a little Project Runway on my DVR and a walk with the dogs. Tomorrow I will get serious.

Point, Counterpoint, Triggers

I had never heard of the word "trigger" before. I have recently become aware of this word and its meaning since starting social work school. A trigger in some regards can be something that reminds us of a good or bad experience in our lives. Triggers are around all the time...some more prevalent than others. What is important about triggers is that they bring up a feeling or make us react in a certain way. That is why they are called triggers. Consider the trigger on a gun. Your finger can linger there and let whatever is bothering you fester and then go away...or you could snap and pull it, with consequences you weren't sure of to begin with.

I had a trigger today and I didn't pull it back nor did I let it go...I just let it be. I went to mall and was enticed by the thought of hot chocolate during our cold spell. I went to Godiva because, quite frankly, if you are going to have hot coco that is the place you want to visit. As the guy behind the counter was ringing me up, he asked for my email address. I gave him my Regis address (where all the spam goes). As he typed, he asked me..."Is it under Michael?" I looked at him hesitantly and I said, "Yes, it is under Michael, he is now deceased, but he bought me Godiva hot coco every year and I just love it and its time to buy more..." The poor guy behind the counter. He looked slightly miserable. "I am so sorry," he said. He put the hot chocolate can in a bag and refused for me to leave before I picked a free truffle off the bottom shelf. Reluctantly (smile) I obliged and picked a hazelnut chocolate something and was on my way.

I stopped walking so fast, letting in what I was feeling. Every year, Mike proudly gave me Godiva hot chocolate for Christmas. It was our go to drink in the winter evenings, or if neither of us could sleep, or if I just wanted a small sweet treat. It was a special gift. Something he knew about me that no one else did. Something that meant the world to him when he went to purchase it. I kept walking, and I kept feeling stronger, and I kept knowing that Mike led me to that Godiva shop...that I don't need him to be alive for me to have this joy in my life...that I could actually enjoy this hot chocolate and have positive memories...the trigger became a good thing.

I have had a lot of good triggers lateley...Reconnecting with an old friend and feeling like that connection was never lost to begin with...the fall weather leading to trees changing that make me want to create my nest...the "how to" write a research paper when I thought all was forgotten...lots of good triggers and yes...even that darn hot chocolate was a good trigger.

To end the evening, do you know what I did? I walked into Tiffany and CO. It is not a store I ever shop in, nor should a social worker be shopping there. But there is this bracelet...THE Tiffany bracelet...with the clasp and the heart...and I have been wanting it for years...and I realized no one will buy it for me...and I bought it. And I justified it by...trigger: Missing Mike but knowing there are so many other bessings in my life. Point: Be happy and a spontaneous. Counterpoint: Be a little reckless. And I combined them...I became happy when I bought something I have wanted for years...I have been happy without it all this time so I will be happy with it...If Mike knew I wanted this (as much as the Godiva hot chocolate) it would have been under the Christmas tree this year.

Whew!

I just got done with a very stressful week, full of reminders that my time management skills need to be dusted off. I had assignments due in every class, and also the internship and some extra training. I had that low level adrenaline feel all week...but am done with homework, thankfully! This weekend, I have my should list: I should clean the house, I should clean up the yard, I should go shopping, I should bring out my fall and winter wardrobe...but the other shoulds? I should go the Farmer's Market, I should see my family, I should take a drive and check out the fall colors...a lot to achieve in a little time.

The internship is going well, but it has been a very emotional experience so far. Learning about domestic violence in all its down and dirty details has wiped me out. So...I should take good care of myself emotionally and physically before another week of busyness rears its monstrous head.

It is about time!

I haven't written in quite a while. Things have been a bit busy, well...busier than normal, anyway. But this will be the new normal-juggling my time with classes, homework, the internship, seeing friends and family, and staying on top of the housework. I am exhausted just thinking about it all. I am however looking forward to routine. Knowing what Monday-Friday looks like with variation on the weekends. Chester is looking forward to routine, too. He likes knowing what we do and when we will do it. Stan, not so much. He just does whatever Chester does.

I had orientation at DU on Thursday. It is great to finally be starting this new chapter. I think the program will be intense...learning how to counsel and care for others, all the while discovering all sorts of new things about myself. Some of us participated in a service day on Friday. My group went to the Food Bank of the Rockies and did a variety of tasks. I helped sort items and box them. I met a few nice people and felt good about spending the morning in service. This week I am tackling some homework and I start my internship tomorrow.

I have been staying on top of golfing, though whether I am improving is another question. It is a good way to get out some stress and have a little fun. Although...I think my friend Liz will be my permanent golf partner. Both of us play pretty much at the same level. I am going out with my friend Amy on Friday to Harvard Gulch...I have warned her about my low level skill and she has assured me it is okay. Amy...if you are reading...you have until Friday to back out!

All things good

It has been a busy week. I spent Sunday, Monday and Tuesday in Winter Park. Liz was supposed to stay the entire time with me, but she left early to tend to a sick grandbaby. So, I had some much needed quiet time. The weather was cool on Monday so I stayed in most of the day, watched some TV, read a book, but made it out and about to the ski area. Here are some pretty potted flowers around the main square:

Dad came up Tuesday and we had a great day. We walked along the Fraser River Trail. We had lunch. We shopped. We visited Devil's Thumb Ranch. It was a beautiful day and the sun shone for most of it. I spent the afternoon and evening on Liz's balcony with this view:

Wednesday morning I checked email before leaving and heard from my friend Aimee. Her dog, Monty, was diagnosed last week with lymphoma. She was distraught all week, trying to figure out whether to treat or let him go (he is almost 10). Prognosis is good with treatment, about another year or so, and he is doing so well she thinks she will treat with chemo. We went to Wash Park last night, where Aimee and Monty roam daily, for some pictures. Here is the distinguished boy:

It has been hard for me to watch her go through this emotional process...she is single and Monty is her baby. I have spent ample amounts of time with both of them, and know they are very, very close. So, I hope whatever she chooses to do will bring her some peace. We sat on her front porch last night after the photo shoot and I couldn't help but take a picture of her beautiful French Country style...

The weekend has been relaxing and the weather a welcome reprieve from the heat. Today I will go to Mom and Dad's for a little bbq and then meander about the house. School starts in a week and I have lots to do to prepare for it. I finally bought my books today and saved around $50 ordering on Amazon instead of going to the bookstore.

Enjoy your three day weekend, my friends.

August 28th

The mountains call me again this year to reflect upon Mike's life and death. Liz has graciously offered her Winter Park condo and I eagerly accepted. She is going to come up later today and we are going to spend a few days riding bikes, meandering about town, and taking some drives. It will not only be fun, but a chance to spend quality time with a good friend and time in reflection.

I find, though, that the Friday during his anniversary week is the one that I reflect on the most, not necessarily the date of the 28th. A lot of that has to do with the vividness of the week of his death and how his illness progressed that week. Friday was the day where he transitioned away from this place and into one that I hope is more blissful and beautiful than he can ever imagine.

I have felt his presence a lot more lately than I ever have before. By presence I mean that I know he is guiding me, watching over me, listening to me when I need an ear...I haven't felt that much in the past two years, but maybe that is because I haven't been tuning in like I am now.

Thinking of everyone today who loved Mike and miss him, too. Celebrate him with a grilled cheese sandwich and some tomato soup...it was his favorite lunch on the ice and at home!

XO

Flashback

This is Mikey's week so I thought I would post a few pictures. This is from Alaska in 2007:

This is Mike and Tom in I think 2006:

This is from the 1860's dinner with some good friends...2006?

And this is one of my all time favorites!

Thinking of you, Mike, and loving the memory of that smile.

Fun times in the hot city

Here are some other family pictures. They are from my dad's birthday earlier in the month...

Steamboat Springs

Mom, dad and I just got back today from a fun weekend in Steamboat. Robert couldn't join us because of his work schedule, which was a bummer because he would have had fun! We stayed at the historic Rabbit Ears Motel, which is a staple along Steamboat's main street. It is also across the street from the hot springs spa and fitness center, which is an awesome facility and where we spent the majority of Friday.

I was hoping for a little cooler air, but it was hot up there! People were out and about all over-at the pool, walking around downtown, and floating down the Yampa on inner tubes. That town has a great vibe to it-plenty to do and see, but still small enough that it doesn't feel like a big city.

I kept leaving my camera in the hotel room, so I have limited pictures. This one is from dinner at a great restaurant called Mambo Italiano:

This is from main street-a lovely little vignette:

Oh! And these! These are my new boots from FM Light and Sons. They aren't totally cowgirl-I can see myself in leggings, a long sweater, and these boots in the fall:

It was a really great weekend, and we have promised ourselves that we will do this a lot more often! (Especially if new shoes and time with mom and dad are on the menu)

Feelin' the energy

What a great weekend thus far! Yesterday was a pretty successful golf lesson. I think I am finally getting it, a little. We learned about how to swing on shorter puts and drives, and I worked on my grip and stance. Of course, I will head to the driving range this week to practice!

This morning I met Jason, Jess, Jason's friend Dion and Jason's brother at 10th and Bannock for the criterium bike race. Jason and Dion are dedicated riders and this was the last major bike race of the season. There is nothing better than being surrounded by attractive men in bicycle gear with lots of adrenaline pumping! The race was so much fun to watch and both Jason and Dion did well. We went to Max Gill and Grill for I think one of the best brunches ever. We made our own bloody mary's, indulged on parm truffle fries, had a lot of laughs, and sat outside on what I think is also the best patios ever. It was a good morning.

I am thriving in all this fun, positive energy. I love taking classes like golf because it lets me focus on something challenging and enables me to learn something new. I love my classmates and the teacher is a riot. I loved the energy this morning of the race-so many passionate people up to no easy task-40 minutes of lapping around a challenging race track. I hope I always stay willing to do new things because I have so much fun and feel that true happy feeling.

Swing!

When I was younger I never understood why people played golf. Maybe I thought I was too cool for the sport. No, really, I think I was scared of it! I realized this year, though, that it is a good game to know the basics. I registered for a Colorado Free U beginning golf class and I have been going to the driving range. I must admit, I am addicted! Getting the grip down, perfecting the swing, watching the ball fly...it is so very satisfying. I know it is a whole different thing to actually play a game, and I will get there someday, but for now I am actually having fun.

DU with Dad

Dad and I wanted to spend some time together. I suggested we go to DU and get to know some of the campus. We got my parking pass, and inquired about the RTD free eco-pass. I love being a student...discounts abound and RTD rides are free! We went to Craig Hall, which is the School of Social Work building. In the lobby was the dean, who I recognized from an event I attended. I shook his hand and told him how excited I am to start school. We found the bookstore, the library, and walked the path of greenery that defines so much of the DU landscape.

Our visit got me really, really excited. I am so ready for this chapter of my life to begin. It will be a lot of work-I put my schedule together today-Internship Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, class from 8-3 Thursday and Friday. I am going to have to get used to getting up at 5am again...it has been years since I had that kind of a routine. But all the hard work aside, I look to the future and know this is the right path I am taking.

The elderly man on Emerson Street

There is an elderly man that lives on Emerson Street. I would venture to guess he is in his 80's. He lives in a house that needs a lot of TLC-the paint is chipping, there is mis-matched furniture on the porch, and the yard is overgrown with weeds and dirt. Sometimes I walk Ches and Stan down that block during the day. He may be asleep on his front porch, but when he is awake we smile and wave to one another.

The other day I was walking down his street and he was standing at his front door with a walker and watering can. His belt was unbuckled and it looked as though his pants were falling down. I wasn't sure if this was a dementia moment or what, and when I looked again he said, "I need your help." Not sure what kind of help he needed, I tied the boys to his tree and went up the porch stairs. "I am caught on the door handle. I think it is my belt but I am not sure." Well, it wasn't his belt that was caught, but the belt loop. I coaxed him to move around a bit as I jimmied his belt loop loose. While I was doing so, I caught a glimpse of a few things: The inside of his entry was filled with old books and papers; his skin was permanently tan, the tan that let me know his work in life was hard work, maybe outside work; his teeth were rotted; his hair thin. Once I set him free from his predicament, he gave me a smile and said, "My, what an awkward situation to be in." I told him no worries, that I have been in similar situations myself (even though I couldn't conjure up any of this caliber). He went on to tell me he was coming out to water his plants. I was skeptical as the state of his yard wasn't conducive to plants.

He pointed me to three store bought red salvias that stood along his front porch. "I bought these the other day. They are supposed to attract hummingbirds. I need to water them so they will live and attract the birds." I told him how pretty the flowers were and how, yes, red attracts hummingbirds. He didn't continue to engage me, rather, he picked up his watering can and got his walker and continued his work. I got the boys from the tree and told him to have a nice day. He thanked me again for helping him.

I was struck by this encounter for a variety of reasons. The most notable one was the idea that the joys of life are found in the small things. Life can be hard, especially when you are a single elderly man, trying to hang on to a house and all that symbolizes. Here is this house, in shambles, with a yard to match, and probably too much for this man to manage...and the small joy this man could muster for himself manifested itself in three, store bought red salvia meant to attract hummingbirds. It made me want to buy him a hummingbird feeder and put it on his porch with a note that says, "From the girl who rescued you from the door handle." Maybe I still will.

Update

Is it un-American to be annoyed that the Presidential Address on the debt crisis is interrupting The Bachelorette? I guess I listen to so much NPR (and NPR has been reporting so much on the debt crisis) that I really don't want it interrupting my TV down time. Oh well, at least Obama can string sentences together well.***

I thought (as the address goes in one ear and out the other) I would write an update blog. Let's see, what is new...Well, Scout won't be staying with us. Her papa decided my house is a little too small and too nice to try to fit in yet another dirty and hairy creature. Which is probably for the best, because once school starts I won't have time for myself, let alone my friends and family, let alone my own two boys.

I have been engaging muscles lately I didn't even know existed. Susan and I took the power sculpt yoga class at her athletic club. Here is the equivalent to a mathematical equation for this class:
Yoga+Weights+Dance Party Music+Aerobic Exercise+Beautiful People in Spandex=A Painful Next Day. Seriously, my body still hurts. The day after this class I went to the driving range with my dad and yet again used muscles I didn't know existed-all on one side of my body. If it sounds as though I am complaining, I am not. I have loved every (painful) minute of it.

I have been spending some quality time with friends and family. This circle is so amazing and wonderful that spending time is really, truly some of the most enjoyable moments of my life. Don't forget about me when I fall into the vortex of school, okay? Call me every once in a while to make sure I haven't been sucked into one of those hefty textbooks (or e-books for all I know).

Mike's 2 year anniversary is coming up the end of August. I have been giving thought about how to spend that time...a trip to Santa Fe? Winter Park? I liked getting away last year when I went to Estes Park. It felt good to be away from the daily routine and do something different in his honor. He would want me to take an adventure, to explore, to get out of town. So we shall see how it all shakes out.

Okay, Boehner is now giving his response to Obama's address. I think I may go pour myself a glass of wine, sit outside, and patiently await the resuming of The Bachelorette.***

***Disclaimer: I am not a disaffected American. I do care about the state of my country. That is why I listen to NPR, read various newspapers online, and watch "Washington Week". I just dislike this political gaming.

Scout, Ches and Stan

["Which of these kids is doing her own thing..."]

My friend Pam and her hubby Peter will be deploying to Antarctica in August. They are newlyweds and it is their first time on the ice together. Scout is Peter's dog, now of course Peter and Pam's dog. They need someone to care for her while they are in Antarctica and have been looking for the right home until March...and something in me said, "let's give it a try."

Peter, Pam and Scout came to dinner tonight and Scout is now spending the night. At first, there were the territorial activities dogs do...a little sniffing, humping, some hairs lifted on the back. Apart from all that (oh, and Scout staring at the door waiting for someone [Peter] to pick her up) we are settling into the evening. Stan, Scout and I are sitting outside listening to jazz as Chester is chewing a rawhide inside. Dinner was successfully facilitated; while Chester wanted to eat her food I stood with a watchful eye. I find I am much more commanding with a foreign dog around than with my own pack. She may, however, become a part of our pack for the next 6 months so hopefully my commanding nature will stick.

People think I am a tad bit crazy. I have assured everyone that until I add 20 cats to the mix I am not yet to be committed. There is something about taking care of someone else, throwing a wrench into the routine, expanding the circle of love that means so much to me. It is why I can share a bunk bed with an 8 year old; or why I can assure a good friend that her 3 year old is okay in my care while she takes half a day to herself; or why I can deal with taking care of a friend's dog. It is giving of myself to other beings that makes me feel alive. So, take heed my friends...no one needs to commit me. Just yet.

Oregon 2011

My trip to Oregon this year was really relaxing. I went for the Lavender Festival, the coast, and to see Frank, Mary Margaret, Stacy, Zivah and TJ. Last year I spent a lot of time in Portland, so I wasn't planning on staying too long in the city. The Lavender Festival was fun...I saw two actual lavender farms, both with stunning views of the countryside.

A trip to see Frank and Mary-Margaret in McMinnville is always a treat. Their home is beautiful and they are such wonderful hosts. A trip with them always includes a good dinner out, a half day drive in the beautiful countryside and a trip to a vineyard. We visited an heirloom rose garden and saw the Monrovia estate complete with all the landscaping one could dream of.

I spent 3 days along the Oregon coast. To visit the Oregon coast, one must have good quads. The 101 goes along the cliffs of the coast, so any random beach stops always require a good hike down either steps or a hill, and then a good climb back up. I was lucky enough to stay in 2 places right on the beach with remarkable views.

In Newport I stayed at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, a hotel for book lovers. Each room has an author's theme-the Jane Austin room, Herman Melville Room, and so on. I stayed in the JK Rowling room, modeled after a Gryfindor dorm room. I was glad Voldemort wasn't hiding under the bed!

Finally, I wrapped up the trip in Portland to see Stacy and her little Zivah. I stayed in Northwest Portland at an inn on the Max line. It was a funky little hotel and I loved staying in a hip neighborhood outside of downtown. Stacy, Zivah and I hung out and kept it pretty mellow which I enjoyed.

It is always good to get home, but I do miss the coast. I found myself sitting for hours just watching the ocean. I saw a whale one morning for hours, diving in and out of the water spraying water once in a while. I saw a beached starfish, and a seagull landed on my balcony. It was truly a heavenly week away and just the rejuvenation I needed.

Ode to Friends

A lovely lunch with two authentic women made me think about friendship. There are old friends and new friends. Friends from elementary school, high school, and college. Friends from new jobs and old ones. Friends from book clubs, supper clubs, nightclubs...friends from Facebook and twitter feeds. Friends of friends, friends of kids' friends, family friends. Friends from the neighborhood and friends miles away.

There are friends you tell anything to. Friends you share little with. Friends you would give your life for. Friends you know the real you and love you anyway. Friends you know the surface you and love that, too. Friends who have seen it all, and friends you see on various occasions. Friends who are wise, and some not so wise but can have a heck of a good time. Friends you've lost touch with and friends with whom you reconnect.

All of these friends loosely fit into a tribe, a tribe where you are the center, the trunk, the person from which these branches of friends grow. In this tribe, there are those who are of closer knit but yet you are all a part of this one big friendship tree.

Cheers to friends of all types.

Otherworldly

I haven't bought an actual CD in years. If I am going to invest in new music, it usually involves downloading from Itunes. I was at Starbucks this morning and saw the Bon Iver CD. Amanda has told me about this band and so I thought I would splurge. Enjoy this lovely song and ethereal video...

Dan's Art

I am lucky enough to have a talented, artistic friend named Dan. He recently had an art exhibit at Kanon Gallery. The concept of this show was "found" and his art was made from found objects. I fell in love with these three pieces and bought them to hang in my kitchen. Don't they look spectacular on the brick wall?

Homework

Starting in September I begin both an internship and classes for the DU Master of Social Work program. I got a really good internship at SafeHouse Denver, a domestic violence shelter for women and kids. I will be working with the women and at some point given a small caseload whom I will counsel, advise, and provide resources. It is intimidating, but exciting. This was the exact kind of internship I wanted-one that will push my boundaries, help me develop new skills, and really feel like I am making a difference in someone's life.

My supervisor suggested that I get some books from the library about domestic violence since I don't have a background in it. I placed my orders at the library, and the first of many has come in. I am waiting in anticipation to pick up the book, with the plan to visit various coffee shops over the next week or so to do my homework. I look forward to taking notes over a hot cambric (or cool iced coffee depending on the day) and reading.

I find it bizarre that I don't do this type of thing for my book club books-find a cozy cafe and spend a few hours reading. But when it comes to "homework" I am all over the cafe scene. Maybe it has to do with how I used to study in high school and college. I would take off for the evening for Village Inn in the early days, and then Stellas or St. Mark's in my more mature years. I am looking forward to that feeling again, of being a student in a cafe.

Re-inspired

Emily's most highly awaited and recent blog post has re-inspired me to love the summer, all the time on my hands and the R&R that comes with it. That, and a discussion with my dad in the car this morning about how nice time off can be. He said retirement was a bit of an adjustment but now he is a master of it. "The days go by quickly," he said.

What was I complaining about? Maybe I was feeling that lack of purpose that I wrote about earlier. Purpose, however, comes to those who wait. This time last year I was in a sense forcing myself to have a purpose with the art program. While it was a neat experience, something was lacking in it for me. I am anticipating that with the MSW program will come a renewed sense of purpose. That is something well worth waiting for.

In the spirit of Emily's post, here are some things I have been loving about summer lately:
-Trips to the mountains! I am not a winter mountain girl; I love it in the summer. The smells, colors, and peacefulness in nature is so revitalizing.
-Farmer's markets. Oh how I love farmer's markets.
-Air conditioning.
-Patio seating.
-Gardening and caring for my yard. It is a beautiful pocket of nature and respite from all the noise of the busy world.
-Flip flops, all day and all night long.
-My renewed yoga practice. I can't believe I took a hiatus for 6 months.
-Bocce ball in my parent's backyard.
-"Roadie" strolls in the neighborhood with my good friend Aimee-plastic cups, a little Chard, and an early evening stroll admiring the neighborhood gardens.

Of course, in my own blogging spirit I will also write about what I should do this summer. Make green iced tea. Sit by a pool more. Indulge in a walk to Bonnie Brae for some cinnamon ice cream. The list here can be endless. Because, like my dad says, the days go by way too quickly. Added in my own words: "And then there will be the cold, dreary days of winter." Cheers to you summer and the R&R you bring!

Is there such thing as too much R&R?

After wandering restlessly through the house this afternoon, I decided to pick up the laptop and write a post. I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the summer and all the time I have on my hands before school begins. I find myself constantly trying to figure out "what to do." Although I have plenty of summer projects, I have plenty of time, too. So I started thinking...is there such thing as too much R&R?

I spent most of yesterday relaxing myself alongside my friend Susan. She belongs to an athletic club and we took a yoga class, had our nails done, and sat by the pool and read. I came home literally exhausted (or relaxed?). This morning I spent a very leisurely and wonderful time with a dear friend who I haven't seen or spoken to in years. We had coffee, wandered the farmer's market, talked, reminisced, shopped. I came home in a bit of a heat + good friend + coffee + shopping coma. I think of the week ahead of me and all the time I have...I will take yoga classes. I will walk everyday. I have another lunch/nail date on Friday. A hair appointment Thursday. And in between all these relaxing activities...maybe get around to a project or two?

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve all this relaxation. I look at the people around me who work hard all week, either at a job, or staying home with their kids, and I think-well, their weekends are well deserved. Hard earned. Maybe they stay in their pajamas until lunch. Or sit and watch golf on TV. These are the little rewards of toiling through a grueling work week, whatever responsibilities they have. And me? Every day seems to be a vacation day.

I know when school starts along with my internship I will look back on this post and shake my head. I should have enjoyed every moment, I will think to myself. When I graduate and get a job, I will look back at this post and recognize my well deserved weekends. But for now, I may need to put myself to work around this old house in order to feel my time off is deserved.

Wilderness! (and Crested Butte)

I just returned from a few days in the mountains. I must say, it was a transforming experience. I was invited to a remote ranch out of Creede called Wilderness Ranch with the Schultz/Tarman families. They have been staying at this ranch during the summer for the past 25 or so years. I shared a cabin with Jason, Jessica, Max and Julian. Max and I were bunk mates and I must say, he was a really great roommate! And Jay, Jess and JuJu were fabulous cabin mates. We gave each other enough space but also really enjoyed our time together. We would go off and do our own things, and then reconvene around 4pm for "happy hour"-a little snack, drink, conversation or game. It was a lovely way to connect with these people I love so much.

I totally felt "off the grid". No cell phones, computers, televisions. The cabins were rustic but cozy. We just did what we wanted whenever we felt like it. The only really measurements of time were coffee in the morning and dinner in the evening. Otherwise, we meandered, moseyed, hiked, biked, fished, read, played games, and chatted with everyone when we would see them. It was the most relaxed I think I have ever been. It always feels good to get home, but part of my heart has been left at the Ranch!

I was invited to stay the entire week, but I haven't spent much time in that part of Colorado so I decided to go to Crested Butte, a town I hadn't visited before. I have a friend there who I haven't seen in years, so it was a good incentive to go. I was also looking forward to sleeping in a king bed instead of a twin bunk. I fell in love with Crested Butte. The town is super cute, kind of hippie-ish-it seemed like every shop had the Tibetan prayer flags and everyone was riding bikes being pulled by dogs. I think I found my next house:

And I thought this was super cute: